


In the winter cold

by bluedreambliss



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Arranged Marriage, Comedy, Depression, F/F, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, High School, Romantic Comedy, Running Away, Slice of Life, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreambliss/pseuds/bluedreambliss
Summary: This could be considered a bit OOC and AU in some bits, I wanted to do something to reflect how I think Nozomi and Eli’s relationship would pan out in the real world but also make it follow most of the series. We all know life and romance isn't sugar and rainbows and I feel like these two in particular are stubborn and would have alot of bumps in the road when it comes to their relationship. I just get these passionate roller coaster of feelings from these two and I hope I can do them justice, if you don't like drama,angst and fiery passion this isn't for you.Italic is Out loud speakingBold is thoughts in Head





	1. She's like spring

**Author's Note:**

> This could be considered a bit OOC and AU in some bits, I wanted to do something to reflect how I think Nozomi and Eli’s relationship would pan out in the real world but also make it follow most of the series. We all know life and romance isn't sugar and rainbows and I feel like these two in particular are stubborn and would have alot of bumps in the road when it comes to their relationship. I just get these passionate roller coaster of feelings from these two and I hope I can do them justice, if you don't like drama,angst and fiery passion this isn't for you.  
> Italic is Out loud speaking  
> Bold is thoughts in Head

I wasn't always this closed off,just like any other child I had that shiney optimism. Like nothing could ever go wrong and that I could take on the world. The older I got, the more I had grown accustomed to the way things really worked, the more reality began to sink in. I started to throw myself into it , no regards of how I myself felt, things had to get done and duties to be upheld, that was until I met her. Days felt like winter, my body constricted by ice, it was like walking through a blizzard only to become numb to the cold, but the moment she spoke up in that singular instant I could hear that soft honey sweet voice it felt like spring had flowed through those halls effortlessly, like it had been there all along. Her lush green eyes melting down any resistance I had. Nozomi Toujou, she adressed herself to me as I kept up my ruse playing her off as just another classmate, but she was persistent.

 

Today was a breezy day I could pick up on the puffy clouds low in the sky, making the sun less unbearable.I silently found my secluded area in the courtyard, where I set up to eat my lunch. Something felt a bit off and I looked up from my food to see those same emerald eyes that captivated me earlier that week. I watched her long violet twin tails flow around her as her face stained a slight pink. She looked down at me and then to the side, tucking her bangs behind her ear and clutching her lunch in her other hand. I didn't know any person could ever look so serene and make me feel so uneasy at the same time.I must have missed what she said because she stared at me confused as if waiting for something.

 

 _“Ah sorry Toujou san, what was that?”_ I said setting my chopsticks down and giving her my full attention. Not that she didn't have it anyway. My eyes gliding over her curves subtly hidden underneath her uniform.

 

“ _I was wondering if I could maybe join you for lunch? I noticed you come out here everyday it looks like a nice place to eat. Uhm if you don't mind I mean.”_

She shuffled her feet a bit and looked at anything but me which I found charming, but it also made that uneasy feeling come back. I didn't like change, it threw me off my balance and that's not something I needed.

 

 _“I appreciate the offer but I actually think I'm going to go to the library now lots of work to do, you are more than welcome to have this spot today.”_ I put my food in my bag and tried to get up calmly but the look that graced her lovely features stabbed me like an icepic. **Whats wrong with me.**

 

_“O-oh okay sorry to bother you thanks for letting me use your spot, I hope your studies go okay.”_

She looked down as I passed by, I swore I heard her out a shaky sigh as she slumped down in the spot I was just sitting.I gripped my bag tightly trying to bite back the feelings overwhelming me, this was for the best. No distractions, but distract me she did. Nozomi would pop up at the worst times too.

 

I was running for student council President, turns out you had to have a vice president picked out before you ran. It had been a week since our encounter in the court yard and I was holed up in the directors room arguing my point when Nozomi made herself known. I was trying to convince the older woman that i could handle the position by myself  when I heard a light knock at the door. Part of me had a feeling we would run into each other again but I didn't expect so soon.

 

 _“Hello Toujou san thank you for bringing those papers over, your teacher seemed urgent I got them.”_  Principal Minami smiled warmly at Nozomi as she shuffled in closing the door behind her, she seemed to notice me right away and her eyes widened slightly she grinned at me and handed the papers to the director and went to leave bowing but she was stopped.

 

 _“ Toujo san have you met Ayese san? Shes a top student in your grade like yourself, she's looking for a partner for the upcoming election, vice president to be exact.”_  Nozomi froze and her eyes darted to me then back to the principle and she cleared her throat.

 

_“Yes mam we have, she is quite the shy one though I have a hard time getting her alone.”_

I blinked rapidly almost not believing what I was hearing, last time she spoke around me she was a blushing mess now she's poking fun like we were buddies, in front of the principle at that. I opened my mouth to retort but was interrupted by the directors light laughing.

 

“I wonder if we are talking about the same girl,she is very admit that she run alone but i think i may know the perfect partner for her” Principle Minamis eyes sparkled in Nozomi's direction and my stomach dropped. **She can’t expect-** My thoughts were cut off my the girl next to me’s quick response.

 

 _“I’d love to help out in anyway I can”_ Nozomi blurted out almost to excited, she stepped closer to me slightly , the principle didn't seem to notice and continued filling her in on her new position, but I noticed and I felt my body prickle with an unfamiliar feeling, I watched this mysterious girl chat animatedly with our director and the feeling only grew.The longer I watched her the more I noticed little things she did when she spoke, The way her eyes widened slightly with new found information and the way her mouth stretched into a wide grin as she gave her opinion. I almost didn't hear principle Minami say my name, but both sets of eyes were now on me and I had to gather myself quickly. Acting like I haven't just been gawking at her I extended my arm to Nozomi offering a hand.

 

 _“I suppose you would be a great help to me, thank you for your generosity and time”_ I watched as Nozomi covered her mouth and tried to hid her laughter, I lifted a brow and went to retract my hand but she quickly grabbed it and smiled up at me.

 

 _“No need to be so formal Eli Chan, Im happy to be your Vice President.”_ She held my hand lightly her soft fingers were against mine and that tingle from earlier came back tenfold, but I made no indication and nodded letting go. I dropped my arm to my side and bowed turning to leave. When I was out in the hallway I heard the last bell chimes signaling the end of today's lessons. Sighing I made my way to my shoe Locker. Sitting down I looked down at my hand tracing the places Nozomi had touched, it felt nothing like her fingers, figures. I busied myself with getting ready to leave not paying attention to the chatting and loudness around me, I felt myself slowly hardening back into my normal numbness. I don't know how long I sat at that bench but was startled when I felt someone sit next to me. I looked up and noticed everyone had left besides a very sour looking petite girl with black hair tied back in twintails. Her eyes shot over to me quickly before she looked past me , I watched as her crimson eyes widened in fear  she suddenly grabbed my shoulders thrusting me forward with strength she didn't look like she possessed. I barely had time to register what was happening before blue eyes connected with green and I found myself yet again in front of Nozomi Toujou.

 

 _“Oh Nicochi there you are!”_ Nozomi gave me a half smile which turned mischievous quickly as she looked past my shoulder.She quickly ducked over to us and grabbed at the small girl still desperately trying to use me as a human shield.

 

 _“No, please Don’t I swear I did my homework LOOK I'LL SHOW YOU STOP”_ Nico was holding onto me so hard I felt my jacket starting to bunch up and become uncomfortable for a moment before I was released. Panic came over me and I shot up from my seat turning just in time to see Nozomi and the girl in a heap on the ground, Nozomi was behind the girl, her hands roaming over the smaller girls chest aggressively. I just stood there frozen not knowing how to react, I almost felt like i was intruding on a lovers affair.

 

 _“ Ah uh, I’m sorry I’ll be going”_ I reached down for my bag but the shorter girl spoke up.

 _“Dont leave Nico here with this tiddy monster!”_ My eyes widened and I felt so out of place. Nozomi’s sweet laughter filled the otherwise silent halls,She had let go of the other girl and got up reaching her hand out. The girl huffed and smacked it away getting herself to her feet turning to me and walking away from the purple haired girl as if afraid of another attack.

 

 _“You might want to take off before she takes a liking to your chest”_ Nico rolled her eyes and briskly walked past me and out the front entrance, still shaken by the sudden commotion I didn't notice Nozomi stand next to me.The purple haired girl let out a quiet sigh drawing my attention, I looked to my side to see her staring off with a small smile gracing her lips.

 

_“Nicochi is a good girl, I just want to see her do good in classes sometimes a small push is all you need”_

_“You mean a big grab?”_ My eyes widened, realizing what I had said after the damage was already done. Nozomi looked mildly shocked but immediately started to laugh, I felt a strong urge to join her, I waited a moment enjoying the sound of her before I let my own rare laughter roll out. We stood there for awhile, I don't know how long though, I had lost track of time, just letting myself get lost in her voice. Everything felt so warm and comfortable, I never wanted this feeling to end.

 

_“I never knew you had it in ya, I really do look forward to being your vice president”_

I whipped my eyes, clenching my now sore stomach.

 _“But we haven't won yet”_ My eyes widened when I felt something soft and warm touch my lips gently. Nozomi had reached over and pressed a finger to my lips shushing me and winking, turning in her heel she pulled out what looked like a playing card from seemingly out of nowhere. Upon further inspection and her turning it I noticed it was a Tarot card.

  
_“Don't worry, the cards are never wrong, see you tomorrow Elichi~.”_  She was gone but it felt like her digit was still on my heated mouth.My heart raced hearing her new pet name echoing through my mind. **What am I going to do about her.** Little did I know that same bold girl was blushing furiously gripping her cheeks running home smiling.


	2. Mutuals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the next chapter. Hope you all enjoy :]

**_Beep Beep Beep Be-_ **

 

I woke up with a groan and slapped my phone away from my face silencing the alarm.

 

**6:30 Am**

 

I closed my eyes again, green was all I could see. Was it my favorite color now? Maybe it was, I don't recall ever having a favorite color before seeing her eyes. Shaking my head trying not to think about the girl who had so suddenly forced her way into my life and wishing I wasn't awake this early on a weekend. Wanting to keep my daily routine up I pulled myself out of bed. Walking silently to the family bathroom I stood in front of the mirror looking over my features. My long blonde hair that was normally pulled up was flowing down my shoulders tickling the exposed skin there, the tank top I wore to bed had gotten uncomfortably sticky having tossed and turned all night sweating.Looking into the icely blue orbs staring back at me I opened up the medicine cabinet to start getting ready for the day. As I finished getting ready I checked my usually quiet phone to see I had gotten an email, it was principal Minami, she had also attached another person. It looked like she had given me a list of dates and areas in the school I was aloud to hang up posters for my election also, the date of my speech. **Oh god a Speech**. It's not that I didn’t like giving speeches, the material I usually write may be found a bit...hard to follow. Last speech I gave put most of my class including my teacher to sleep.Letting my mind drift I looked at the other email address attached to the mail,

 

**_69S P I R I T S69@gmail.com_ **

 

Puzzled wondering who would be bold enough to use that as an email with the principle involved when I got a private email.

_Heya Elichi! I have your email now, watch out im coming for your digits next ρ(｀.´)ρ_

 

I sighed, I should have know it was Nozomi. Deciding to play along I typed out a quick reply wanting to start my morning run.

 

_Watch out for what exactly? If a cute girl wants my number she’s more than welcome to have it._

 

I inserted my cell number for good measure and darkened my phone screen.Smiling down at the black screen I sat there for a moment. **Should I really be doing this?** My smile was replaced with a neutral expression and I put my phone in my pocket feeling it go off again. Ignoring it I set out for my run. The air was brisk and still, taking in the buildings and streets as I picked up my pace trying to forget about the burning in my chest from more than just physical activity. I soon found myself in front of a large set of stairs, I jogged in place for a moment deciding why not and began my trek up them. Wishing I hadn't about half way through and walked the rest of the way up lungs burning.

 

When I got to the top I looked around at the red pillars and high walls, I had found my way to a shrine, not ever having come here before I decided to walk over and pay my respects. Slightly dazed from being in a new environment I bumped right into someone knocking them over. I gasped and turned around completely to help them out when my heart shot into my throat.Once again it felt like time stopped when emerald meet sapphire. Dressed in a white and red shrine maiden outfit was Nozomi sprawled out on the ground rubbing her knee and gazing up at me confused. I quickly snaped out of my stuiper and fell to my knees next to her.

 

 _“Nozomi chan I’m sorry! Are you hurt anywear, should I go and get help?”_ I went to get up again and was stopped when I felt her fingers lightly drape over the hand I had laid on her leg. She was giggling but trying to cover her mouth to hide it with her free hand. I felt my heart rate soar and almost wrenched my hand away from hers but kept it in place enjoying the soft warmth that started to radiate there.

 

 _“W-whats funny?”_ I stammered out searching her eyes wondering if she had hit her head too.

 

 _“You called me Nozomi chan how adorable.”_ She squeezed my hand and started to pick herself up wobbly, but dusted herself off and looked down at me who was still crouched.I felt dumb just looking up at her and I shot up also busying myself with dusting off nonexistent dirt.

 

 _“Jeez is that all you noticed? Are you sure you didn't get hurt I can- wait why are you here and dressed like that, do you live here?”_  I immediately realized my mistake and looked down when I heard a fresh round of laughs.My ears felt assaulted with its sweetness and I could feel heat flowing to my face at a rapid pace.

 

 _“I work here in my free time, What are you doing here hm? I don't think I have ever run into you here before, don't tell me you came here to see me~”_ I noticed she was also getting a bit red in the face and figured it was because it was starting to warm up outside now that the sun was coming out, but the distant look in her eye confused me. **Do I make her nervous still?** From all the quick witty teases I have received from her lately that was hard to believe so I went with the first option.

 

 _“That is so thoughtful of you._ ” I scratched the back of my neck not really knowing what else to say, I didn't want to make it painfully obvious my eyes has started to move up and down her shapely body, especially in a sacred place such as this. I cursed myself but jerked my head up when she addressed me again.

 

 _“I don’t have much going on besides school, this helps me clear my head and become one with the spirits in the town, what about you though, you still haven't told me why you are here. Oh wait!”_ She stopped and tilted her head tapping a finger on the side of her cheek looking me up and down. This made me draw an arm around my midriff self consciously.

 

“ _Could Elichi be out for a run,maybe this helps her clear her head.”_ Noticing my running clothes, she seemed to come to an answer on her own and nodded in agreement as if she was talking to just herself and that I wasn't there at all.

 

 _“Ah yes, that is actually it and did you say s-spirits?”_ I felt myself freeze when a huge grin spread on her face, she almost lept at me clutching my shoulders. I hadn't meant to stutter but the mention of anything paranormal always gave me the creeps.

 

 _“I sure did, what do you not like them, or is it you are afraid ?”_ the purple haired girl looked slightly concerned but I could still see that mischievous glint in their eyes. Another thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was of how close she was to me again. I swallowed and my eyes accidentally looked down her neck all the way down to the opening of her shirt. I almost jumped out of my skin realizing I could see completely into it and got an eyeful of her rather large cleavage. Knowing this wasn't good I lept into action before I made a fool of myself any further. I clasped the hands on my shoulder rather aggressively and ushered her off me.

 

 _“No I am not afraid and I don't have an opinion of them, I apologize I need to go.”_ I was still holding her hands which she was looking down at blushing. I let them go quickly and took off past her not staying to hear what she said next but I immediately felt my phone go off. I didn't stop though, I kept running and running , I don't know when I arrived back at my house or even paid any attention to Mother yelling for me to eat when I got back to my room, I just lay on my floor panting and my head spinning. I knew I was a coward for running but what was I supposed to do, I can’t let indecent things hold a place in my mind like this. I will need to work hard and stay focused, Nozomi is just an acquaintance, a business partner. I couldn't help myself from feeling a bit guilty for leaving so suddenly though and I looked over at the phone I had tossed onto my bed upon entering my room. **She will understand...won't she?** I sat up and crawled over to my bed resting my chin there and picking up the phone.I turned it on and seen I had three new messages from an unsaved number, most likely Nozomi. I opened them and read them over.

 

**_O~ thanks for the number, you're easier than you look!  ￣∀￣_ **

 

**_Geez why did you leave so fast I was going to invite you in for some tea._ **

 

**_Well I guess I’ll see you at school Eli-chan…_ **

 

I sighed and closed my phone burying my face into my bed, I inhaled deeply taking in my own sent mixed with fabric softener. **She didn't call me Elichi, maybe I upset her.** I just sat there not knowing how to feel or what to think I just let myself fall into darkness, words of what to say to her just sworled around not making much sense in my head, I wanted to tell this girl shes all I have thought about since the day we met, that her eyes haunted me all night, those shining orbs gracing me with there light like the faint glow of an aurora borealis surrounded by the inky blackness of the night surrounding it, but i won’t. I’ll never tell her how i feel If i can help it. She doesn't need this, this burden. She deserves so much more than what I’ll ever be able to give her, so we will stay as we are, Mutuals.

 

The weekend went by in a flash and before I knew it I was at school again, going through the motions just like any other day. I kept myself busy trying to put my all into the election coming up, but this ment I would have to run into a certain purple haired beauty I had been doing a good job pushing out of my thoughts. It wasn't until Wednesday afternoon that she popped up sending all my hard work flying with just a few words.

 

I was walking to my last class spaced out thinking about the layout of my posters. I could hear the light hurried footsteps and breathless calling of my name. I stopped and looked behind me seeing Nozomi struggling to squeeze past all the students trying to get to their last class. I pulled over to the side of the hall and waited for her, she was going to be my vice president after all I would need to speak to her occasionally. After she finished apologizing to another group of girls she found herself standing right infront of me, her face was flushed and she looked a bit flustered, probably from the hall traffic. I just looked down at her trying to keep my composure It had been a few days and I had gotten her image out of my head for the most part but its like an artist slapped me in the face renewing the vibrant colors against my corneas. She didn't speak for a moment we just held each other's gaze before I broke the silence.

 

 _“Did you need something Nozomi chan”_ I felt odd calling her that after doing a total rinse of her in my mind, but seeing her totally reset any hope I had for trying to keep her as an acquaintance. She seemed a bit taken back but she smiled and looked to the side tucking back her bangs like she does.

 

 _“For a moment there I thought you had been”_ She paused and looked down at her hands which were fidgeting with a rolled up paper.

 _“I thought you had been avoiding me, anyway~ , I have been working on things for your entrance speech I thought maybe you might be super busy with the rest and went and did a rough draft, if you don't like it or ya know whatever just ah l-let me know”_ She seemed to get more and more flustered throughout that sentence and finished by handing me the papers in her hand. I looked up at her watching her carefully, she was biting her lip slightly and looking out the window just past my head. I don't know what came over me, before i could stop myself i placed a hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze and smiling as warmly as I could.

 

_“Thank you so much Nozomi, It really means a lot. Im terrible at speeches, I’ll read this over as soon as I can and let know know what I think._

 

She stiffened and let out an unmistakable shaky sigh almost leaning into my hand.I felt my face heat up and that familiar tingling warm spread throughout my body.I was getting harder to resist it watching her face relax and eyes sparkle in the afternoon light. I loosened the grip on her shoulder and felt it drift up and lightly graze her neck.It was almost as if she felt the sparks in my fingertips too because I felt her slightly shiver and her mouth part slightly. I was about to rest my hand on her cheek when we heard the last chime signaling us that we were indeed late for our class For once I didn't rip my hand away, I just stood there staring. **I can't take my eyes off her.** She didn't seem phased by the bell but rather my intense gaze, I watched color go from her neck all the way to her ears and eyes darting around as if to calm herself down. I went to pull my hand away noticing her obvious discomfort and she placed her hand on mine for the third time, it felt just as electrifying.

  
_“That would mean the world to me Elichi, meet me after classes okay?”_ She let go and gave me one last smile and headed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Eli, make up your damn mind will ya. I wanted to show a little bit more about how Eli was feeling or not knowing how she's feeling? I hope I got that across. Also I really do think Nozomi would have a email like that. I don't know if i made it clear probably not, but they are in their first year so no other muse girls will be showing up anytime soon.


	3. Not In Love

My class seemed to drag on, longer than usual anyway. It’s like time knew I wanted to see her to get away from this dull throbbing in my head. When the final bell releasing us to go home rang, it felt like nails on a chalkboard to my sensitive ears. All I could think about was that soft calming expression washing over me healing my wrecked emotions, but was this right? Do I really deserve to feel this way.These things have no place in my life, they don’t help with my school work and they don't help with my family life. Why then does my body, my mind insist on taking this path. 

 

I felt my legs carrying me to the entrance of the building remembering the girl on my mind never did tell me where to meet her, somehow I just knew she would be waiting for me at the gate. I kept walking till I got to the entrance and didn't see any signs of her, I felt a slight pang of hurt but quickly shoved it aside feeling slightly relieved. I was letting that stone cold washover me again when I heard a flowing voice reach me. Upon paying close attention I realized it was two voices one of them sounding mildly annoyed, at what I didn't know.Stopping to listen knowing who the first persons voice was, I could tell this wasn’t something I was meant to hear.

 

_ “The look in her eyes, it was so intense I almost lost my balance. I don't even know what she's thinking or feeling it’s so frustrating, but I can’t stay away.” _ this voice who I knew was Nozomi let out a breathless laugh after finishing her sentence and It was interrupted with a scoff and an annoyed response.

 

_ “This is seriously gross, keep your mushy romance to yourself Toujou! Anyway I came to ask for the notes from math class but if you really must know the great Nico Nii’s advice, I think you should really just let her make the first move. You might scare someone like her off being to pushy you know.”  _ **Ah so that’s Nico.** I couldn’t really believe I had been on Nozomi’s mind enough for to seek out advice from a girl like Nico but I pushed that from my mind and walked out the entrance and past them pretending I didn't hear anything. Not stopping I walked past them seeing Nico’s slight panicked expression and Nozomi’s confused look. I didn’t say anything and kept walking, I surprisingly didn’t hear anyone call after me, I almost wanted to look behind me but thought better of it and kept walking.  **This is good, just stop thinking about me and I’ll do the same.** I didn't notice the tree’s and the street vanish my eyes staying forward I went into auto pilot letting my body take me home, shutting down my thoughts and letting the numbness take over. I arrived home, having closed off my emotions and side thoughts I was greeted by my Mother at the door. 

 

_ “Welcome home sweetie, remember the young man I told you about the beginning of the year? His family has made a surprise early visit, they are actually here for dinner. Please go wash up and prepare for dinner, grab your sister for me too.”  _  Mother hurried in the direction of the kitchen and for the first time I noticed all of the extra shoes at the door. Part of me thought my parents knew they were coming and just wanted to force me into attending.  **Everything is starting to fall into place I guess.** I walked to  Alisa’s room and knocked on the door, pushing it open slightly, I peeked inside to see her sitting on her bed reading a school idol magazine. Shaking my head I opened it fully and walked in.

 

_ “Shouldn’t you be doing your homework?” _ I sat down on the bed next to her pearing at the colorful pages and Large candid photos of all the glamorous and trendy looking girls littering the pages. They all looked so happy and energetic,  **must be nice** . 

 

_ “Onee chan!” _ Alisa flung herself onto me and hugged me tight, I chuckled and ruffled her hair slightly, grabbing the magazine and sitting it on the desk near her bed. She pouted and squeezed me a bit tighter and buried her face in my side, I knew she was shy around strangers she probably wasn't looking forward to this dinner as much as me.

 

_ “Come on, mom wants your help downstairs. It will be over before we know it right?” _ I felt like I was reassuring myself more than anything and looked down at the blonde head pushed into me, she too would have this burden one day. 

 

_ “Okay, will you braid my hair tonight?” _ She looked up at me blue meeting blue, I could never say no to that face.

 

_ “Yeah sure now go help mom, I'll be down soon.” _ She got up excitedly and flew down the stairs, smiling I went to the bathroom down the hall closing the door. I let out a shaky sigh and set to making myself look presentable. Why now, of all times. It’s almost as if fate had meant to make things difficult for me. Washing my face I felt my hand almost going to my pocket for my phone wanting to text Nozomi but I stopped. I finished up what I was doing and walked to my room. Setting my phone on my desk before looking at it one last time I turned to leave. **I wish things didn't have to be this way.**

 

Awkward introductions aside the dinner went smoothly, I played the hard working daughter and made sure to be as charming as I could. The whole time I just felt bitter and sick.These people would soon be shoving their way into my life, making it just as dull if not more.

 

_ “I hear from your parents you are student council president Just like our boy isn't that right  _ _ Touma _ _?” _ A squat balding man sitting across from my father piped up. Said boy puffed out his chest and gave me a smug grin, I wanted to whip that look off his face but held myself back giving him a stiff smile.  **Why did they have to find the most stuck up family out there** . I cleared my throat and addressed the table. 

 

_ “I’m only running, nothing has been decided yet.” _ My parents looked a bit disapproving but I didn't care, they can stretch the truth when I wasn’t around. Looking away I stared down at my half eaten food wish I was upstairs texting Nozomi. My mind started to drift away ignoring all the mundan chit chat around me. Dinner was starting to die down and my parents were discussing some technical business talk I had no idea what it meant.I looked over at the boy he was flipping through is phone as if bored of being here.His manners were terrible as he was resting his elbows on the table not even caring.I wouldn't have minded getting to know him if this guy was at least a gentleman, he was just some spoiled rich kid who probably wouldn't have to lift a finger for anything. The boy noticed my staring and must have taken it the wrong way and gave me that same smug grin. Not being watched by our parents I didn't hide my eye roll and shot him a disgusted grimace. He didn't like that and looked back down at his phone offended.  **That’s right hot shot you don’t have a chance in hell.**

 

Our parents seemed to be wrapping up the discussion and our guests were getting up to leave. We thanked them and my mother lead them out. Alisa and I set to clearing off the table and cleaning up in the kitchen.As we were cleaning the dishes I could feel her eyes on me. 

_ “You don’t like him do you?” _ Alysia’s quiet voice came, I almost didn't hear her over the running water.I looked over at her , she was looking gloomily down at the water. I felt a pang of guilt, I knew I should have hidden my disdain better.

 

_ “Ah yeah I don’t,he isn’t… my type.”  _ Her eyes lit up and looked at me with new found curiosity. **Oh no I shouldn’t have said that.** She turned to me hands still soaked and grabbed my arm. I jumped back trying to avoid the water dripping everywhere.

 

_ “Onee chan! What’s your type?”  _ I sighed trying not to get mad at her for making a mess, I knew she was going to ask that. How do I even answer that. Oh my type is just a stunning girl from my school. I chuckled and went to grab a towel to soak up the water all over the floor.I could still feel Alsia’s eyes on me and sighed. 

 

_ “ A bit shorter than me, long purple hair, fair skin and soft kind eyes, a voice that could calm anyone in an instant.Mysterious yet playful personality. Just to name a few.” _ I went over to help her finish the now abandoned dishes as she was standing frozen stars in her eyes.

 

_ “W-what?”   _ I choked out blushing at her intense stare.  **Is this how Nozomi felt?**

 

_ “That sounds amazing, I can’t wait to fall in love!”  _ Alisa pretty much shouted making me jump and get flustered again. 

 

_ “I’m not in love jeez _ ” I retorted but I stopped talking hearing my mother enter the room.

 

_ “Oh love already? Looks like we found the perfect young man for you. _ ” My mother gave me a soft smile which I didn't return, of course she thought I was talking about the boy.I turned away and finished up the dishes and said good night to father and Mother and made my way upstairs hoping Alisa would forget about my hair promise. She seemed to because I made it to my room no interruptions. 

 

Grabbing my phone and not bothering to change out of my dinner clothes I flopped down face first onto my bed.I was hesitant to check my phone being afraid of Nozomi’s questioning as to why I didn’t stop to meet with her after school. I took a breath and lit up my phone screen, my stomach dropped, It was empty.I guess that’s to be expected right, what was I even hoping for? I’m the one who rudely walked past her, of course she would think I’d want nothing to do with her.I stared at the blank screen almost wishing a message would appear, but it stayed empty. I looked over at my desk seeing a stack of papers there, remembering the speech Nozomi had prepared for me, excitement shot through me and I leapt over to it picking it up and reading it.

 

After I finished I smiled holding it to my chest, It was formal yet intimate at the same time. It was perfect and surely would help with my chances.Looking over to my phone I bit my lip thinking. I decided to go for it and picked it up and dialed the purple haired girls number.My heart started to palpitate and I wanted to hang up the longer it rang.I almost did chicken out before someone picked up and a sleepy voice greeted me softly. 

 

_ “Hello, Eli chan?” _ It sounded like she had took the phone away from her face to check who called. I laughed lightly at how cute her sleepy voice sounded.  **Wait sleepy voice.**

 

_ “Nozomi, ah did I wake you up?” _ I panicked slightly I didn’t check what time it was before calling and sure enough it was almost 12 at night.I could hear her yawn and a shuffling noise on the other end. I gripped my phone and layed back in my bed, she's probably in bed right now, all snuggled up in her blankets and warm.I pulled my own around me wishing I was with her.

 

_ “Yeah ya did, Is everything alright?” _ She sounded concerned and now I was feeling really stupid for calling her but at the same time it felt nice to hear her voice after the stressful evening. I didn't answer her question, instead I hummed.

 

_ “I read the speech you wrote for me, It’s great I wouldn't change a thing.” _ I waited silently for her to respond but I was met with that velvety laughter.It was so soft I could barely hear it but I just laid there letting it wash over me like she was right next to my ear. We stayed silent for a while listening to each others breathing and I could feel myself drifting off surrounded in smooth hues of green and purple before she lightly broke the silence.

  
_ “Go to sleep Elichi”  _ She didn’t need to tell me, sleep was already washing over me and I was out with a smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya this one was the beginning of what is going to be a large issue for Eli, let’s see how she handles it. Oh PS she’s totally not in love right? ;]


	4. Silence

I could hear the muffled cries of my alarm under my face, the noise woke me with a jump and I had to peel the loud device from my face. Smiling remembering falling asleep to Nozomi’s voice,looking down at the phone again I noticed I had an unopened message from her.My heart immediately picked up and I quickly opened it. 

 

_ Morning Elichi~  _

_ Hope you slept well, I know I did until you decided to wake me up ^.~  _

_ Would you like to walk to school together? _

 

I felt excitement wash over me and typed out a fast reply and started to get ready.

 

_ I apologize for that, that sounds wonderful Though I’m not sure where you live. Where shall we meet? _

 

It was a few minutes before i got an answer back from Nozomi, when I looked down at my phone I just stopped in shock as I was reading it I could hear a soft but distinct voice coming from downstairs accompanied but my sisters loud introductions. 

 

_ Oh no worries I’m already here  _ ｖ(⌒ｏ⌒)ｖ

 

I nearly fell down the stairs from how fast I ran, sure enough standing in my doorway was a beaming Nozomi and Elisa nearly vibrating from excitement. Upon entering they both turned to me looking slightly concerned. 

 

_ “Elichi are you alright, you look a bit winded”  _ I didn't answer her but instead looked between them both wondering how much they said to each other. From the knowing look on my sisters face I could tell she figured out who this was and I just looked away and instead tried to focus on Nozomi. 

 

_ “How did you know where I live? _ ”  I felt slightly panicked hoping Alisa wouldn't say anything about our conversation from the night before in front of the purple haired girl, but she seemed like she was more focused on asking her all kinds of things about her hair like how long it took her to grow it out and what shampoo she used, so my question went unanswered.Not wanting them to get  to comfortable I interrupted. 

 

_ “Anyway I’m ready to go now, have a good day at school Alisa.” _ I put on my shoes and grabbed my school bag walking past them both. I kept a brisk pace hearing Nozomi say goodbye to my sister and lightly jog to catch up to me. 

 

_ “You have such a cute sister Elichi. _ ” She looked over at me with a small smile, I turned to her and returned it then looked down focusing on my feet. It was quiet and a cool breeze ghosted over us as we walked in silence.It was nice just having someone here beside me as I walked, I didn't feel myself get pulled into my usual numbness, I actually had something to focus on and that was the feeling of warmth from her being so close. I decided to break the silence and  looked over at her again, she was still smiling and her cheeks were tinted slightly.  **Ah she is so lovely.**

 

_ “So, you never answered my question.” _ She looked slightly startled by my sudden declaration and looked over at me curiously. That was quickly changed into a look of playfulness and she feigned innocence. 

 

 _“I don’t recall, refresh my memory will ya”_ She answered looking away again, I sighed hitching my bag up my arm further and looked straight ahead. **So She’s going to play that game.**

 

_ “How did you know where I lived, I don't recall telling you, that's actually kinda creepy you know.”  _ I just heard a light sniff and I decided to look at her, bad idea. I felt my body stop walking, Nozomi had stopped as well and was giving me a look of pure hurt, her green eyes had glossed over and her bottom lip had come out slightly.

 

_ “I-I didn't mean-” _ I reached out to her and felt immediately stupid cause she started to laugh a moment later. 

 

_ “Silly Elichi, you are so easy. I got it from Mrs. Principle, told her I needed to give you something for the election”  _ She started to walk past me shooting me a wink. I just stood there not really knowing what to do or say. I was really going to have to have a talk with director about my personal privacy. 

 

The rest of the walk to the school was fairly quite save for Nozomi passing on some election ideas she had, I either nodded or just listened.Everything she came up with was great and I was starting to feel more and more confident. We came to the school steps and started up them,being with her almost made me forget about school, about the crushing reality of my family responsibilities.I wanted nothing more than to walk with Nozomi on this breezy morning, till the end of time.

 

Weeks went by in a flash and then months, the election went smoothly as planned and Nozomi and I took the spot being the youngest to hold the seat in our schools history. These days after school, the student council office were always calm,scribbling of a pencil or shuffling of papers could be heard.We both worked silently just enjoying the company. After the night of the election, both of us decided to keep a mutual understanding not to bring up that night,well atleast I thought we had.

 

Going back to a few months it was election day and everything had lead up to this, all the careful planning and nights staying up perfecting my speech and stance and even my voice. I was ready no, we were ready to win this. Nozomi and I headed into the auditorium,We stood behind the curtain waiting to be called onto the stage. It was quite back there, so silent I could hear my heart thumping in my ears. I looked down at my shaking hands gripping at the sides of my skirt.I almost jumped when I heard a soft voice next to me.

 

_ “I felt how you do now so many times it doesn’t bother me anymore, moving place to place as a kid forced me into introducing myself to countless new classes. Speaking in front of people can be hard but if you picture them all naked it helps.” _  I just stared at her mouth open, I went to speak but I could hear us being introduced onto the stage.She giggled and walked past the curtains, without even thinking about my now gone nervousness I started to walk in with a confident grin.

The debate and speech went great and I got through it better than I ever imagined, the school seemed to take it well and I could feel warmth spread throughout me hearing the applause for us. We exited the stage and waited in the back once more for the voting.I turned to Nozomi excitement coursing through me and I threw myself into her holding her tightly.

 

_ “Thank you so much Nozomi” _ I said into her ear pushing my head into her neck.She seemed to stiffen up and her hands weakly came up to my sides slightly holding onto my blazer.

 

_ “Y-yeah it’s no problem I like helping you, seeing you happy brings me joy like nothing else”  _ Nozomi replied almost like she was out of breath,it was silent again and I could feel the thumping of a heart beat, this time it wasnt mine. My body became hyper aware of how close we were but I stayed there. I tried to steady my breathing but it was coming out in ragged breaths that washed over Nozomi’s neck and I felt her grip on my Jacket tighten and her chest push forward slightly. At this point I felt like I was on fire already sweating from being on stage and I backed us up into the wall close by. I didn't look up, I stayed holding onto her tightly and breathing in her intoxicating scent, like fresh lilies. I did however hear her gasp when we hit the wall and her arms slid up my back and she held me just as tight.I don't know how long we stayed like that till we were signaled to come back on stage but when we parted, we just looked away from each other panting.

Needless to say, neither of us had brought this incident up and we both seemed to stop the friendly not so friendly banter between us. I wanted to ask her about it but was to afraid I had gone to far so I kept my thoughts in my mind.I was soon indulged because Nozomi seemed to not be too keen on our silence.

 

_ “Elichi are you busy tonight?” _ I looked up from signing a document, she had out her pencil down and was leaning in slightly giving me her full attention. 

 

_ “Not that I know of, just finishing up all of this.” _ I gestured to the mountains of papers about 70% done.She hummed in agreement and nodded, she looked at the paper I was working on and leaned in even closed to look at it as i went back to it. The purple haired girl had placed her hand on her chin and was nearly obscuring the view of my paper by then. When did her chair get this close to mine , I noticed that her leg was touching mine and I nearly jumped backwards.I said nothing fearing scaring her away though, she seemed like she knew what she was doing.

 

_ “Uh, Nozomi chan?” _ I gave her a side glance my posture stiff I had not moved sense her close proximity came to light and she seemed to notice this and let out that same hum but this time with more of a questioning lilt. She outstretched her other hand and ran her finger up my unmoving fingers grasping my pencil. My eyes shot to hers and my stomach did back flips, she was staring right at me. My mouth went to open but nothing came out as I felt her fingertips ghosting over mine again. 

 

“What is it?” The purple haired girl was smirking now and I had no idea what was going on, why couldn't I respond.I let out the shaky breath I had been holding and grabbed the hand on mine and set it down on the desk looking down.

 

_ “We don’t have much time to get all this work done maybe we shouldn't-”   _ I stopped when I heard a choked noise come from the girl beside me. I looked over at the girl next to me not expecting her to already be turned away from me. I could hear her speaking softly and leaned over to hear better.

 

_ “Pardon?” _  I immediately recoiled though when she stood up suddenly and the chair felt to the ground. It looked as though tears were forming in those emerald irises. I felt a cold chill shot up my spine at the look she was giving me.  **I’m so stupid.**

 

_ “ If you hate me Eli just tell me!”  _ My eyes widened, I never knew a voice like that could leave that gental girls lips,I felt guilty immediately for the way I had been acting.This wasn’t fair to either of us.

 

_ “N-nozomi I-”  _ She shook her head and put her face in her hands trying to hide the fact she was crying, but I already saw. I just stood up and walked over to her she tried to back up but I was faster and I pulled her into me.This time i felt no tensing up she just let me hold her, she didn't hug me back she kept her hands on her face covering her face. We stayed like that for a few minutes, I finally spoke. 

 

“ I could never hate someone as beautiful as you, I understand If you hate me though.” I felt her shaking her head and her arms dropped as much as they could in my tight embrace. She lightly pounded her fist onto my chest but stayed looking down,I pressed on. 

 

_ “I’m no good with words, or expressing how I feel, hell I don’t even know how I’m feeling myself half the time to even begin to explain to you what’s going on.” _ I sighed and looked out the window, **I need to say this carefully.** I lifted her chin up and looked directly into her tear swollen eyes,I felt my breath hitch. I could see every different hue of green I’d ever seen in my life all melting together and capturing me. I couldn't stop myself I leaned in not breaking eye contact until her eyes fluttered closed.I was so close I could see the wet droplets of tears clinging to her lashes and I reached up to wipe them away. I them placed my hand on her cheek and connected our lips. I heard her inhale sharply and I pressed into her more turning my head to deepen the kiss.I couldn't control my shaking hands and I slid my hand to her neck pulling her impossibly close. I felt like I was suffocating in her, but it was the best feeling I had ever had.

I released her lips gasping opening my eyes, her lips were parted and eyes slightly open staring at me as if in a daze, I knew the feeling. 

 

_ “I guess from now on I will show you how much you mean to me”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I did it, I wanted to wait but I couldn’t haha THE BIG CONFESSION. Will Eli stick to her word of showing Nozomi how she feels? Or will she be a hopeless gay and fuck it up? Who knows I sure don't. Hope you like this one :]


	5. Frustrated

I didn't see where I could have taken my decision before I made it, I didnt think about the implications of my words I said to her. Not about the reality of the marriage in the near future and not of what my family might think. I just know what I felt for the first time in my whole life and it was also the most scary part about it all. I knew my actions would have conscience when we left the school hand and hand. Nozomi and her soft loving gaze. she was going to expect more from me now. I wanted to give that to her, to be what she wanted and what she needed. Deep down I knew I couldn’t, but im selfish.

 

We walked and talked for hours not caring about the world passing by around us, we ended up in the shopping district and I finally was able to pull my attention from the purple haired girls entrancing conversation to notice.

 

 _“Uh Nozomi, we have school tomorrow we should probably head home.”_ I looked around, you could make out the faint orange glow of the sun setting in the background of the semi busy street, the small lights decorating the buildings around us reminded me of fireflies that danced past my wide curious eyes as a child.Nozomi didn’t respond only pulling me along at a faster pace this time.I felt my heart swell at being lead along by someone that I actually cared about, not the forceful guidance of my strict parents or teachers. We made our way through the throngs of thinning crowds till she stopped suddenly. I hit her back softly and grasped her shoulder apologetically. I looked up and could see a large apartment complex and looked at her, slightly tilting my head. She looked nervous and was staring up at it biting her lip.

 

 _“Is this...where you live?”_ I asked trying to judge her expression but she quickly regained composure and turned to me quickly smiling.

 

 _“Mhm! I seen where you live so I thought it was only fair you get to see mine. Plus I've never had someone walk me home before”_ She stuck her tongue out and winked at me letting my hand go.I laughed lightly and scratched the back of my neck not knowing the proper farewell. **Do I kiss her or a hand shake or** \- Before I could make up my racing mind she lifted herself up slightly balancing her hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek. I immediately felt my cheeks flush and I looked to the side.Nozomi giggled and stepped back giving me room to breath.

 

 _“Maybe I’ll invite you in next time, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Elichi”_ With that she walked off to the building entrance and left me watching her walk in. She looked back at me once more waving and then was out of sight.

 

 _“Next time huh?”_  I sighed to myself, walking home. Figuring out quickly Nozomi didn’t live awfully far from me if I took a shortcut through a high end looking subdivision. I couldn't keep my mind from drifting back to the interactions from today and felt myself smiling.I was startled suddenly when I heard a voice meters in front of me.

 

 _“Eli Eli, did you want to see me so bad you found my street address?”_ I stilled and looked around, my eyes fell on a medium height boy around my age. His stringy blue hair shining under the porch light he was sitting under. **Touma, of course he lives in a place like this.** I had to suppress an eye roll and continued walking not acknowledging I had seen him but he shot up and hopped down his steps, going in front of me. I looked up at him wishing I hadn't, the smug look he wore was nothing like the playful one Nozomi had when she looked at me.

 

 _“I’m just going home, don't read to much into it excuse me have a nice evening”_  I slightly pushed past him not looking back to listen to him speak.

 

 _“Of course he found me such a frigid bitch.”_ I cringed and kept walking, the words he said left an awful feeling in my stomach. It's as if I'm just property to give away, for business transactions and family honor. I was walking so fast I didn’t even notice I was in front of the steps leading up to the shrine Nozomi and I had met months ago. I kept walking getting myself home as fast as possible to try and avoid any trouble with my parents. Surprisingly when I entered the home no one was there, I walked into the kitchen to see a note on the table addressed to me and I picked it up to read while opening up the refrigerator.

  


_Eli, your father and I went to a dinner with the_ _Maeda’s, I left your sister to cook._

 

I looked into the fridge an seen a neatly wrapped dinner set aside with Alisa’s cute handwritten note on top for me. Smiling I set to start eating making sure to thank Alisa through text and remind her to do her school work. My sister was my only joy in this house because of the stifling pressure of my parents, I frowned at the note my mother had left me, why do they insist on meeting with that annoying kid’s family so soon. It’s not like we are getting married till after I graduate anyway. I felt my phone vibrate after I finished up eating figuring it was Alisa texting me back.  I was about to go upstairs to say good night to her but opened the text. It was a picture message from Nozomi. Feeling pretty excited to hear from her sooner than tomorrow I opened it quickly. I had to grip onto the railing to stop from slipping down the stairs at what was in the picture. Right there in the middle of a comfy looking bed was Nozomi laying upside down puffing out her cheeks, but looking closer she was wearing a loss purple nightgown and nothing else it seemed, because her ample chest was basically spilling out. I held onto my phone frozen trying to tear my eyes from the picture to read the message.

 

 _“I should have just invited you in today, I’m so bored~_ ε-(´・｀)”  Taking another look at the picture I bit my lip feeling heat come to my face. I leapt up the steps and went right into my room sitting on my bed looking down at my phone trying to formulate a response, but a new message popped up, another picture message from Nozomi. Heart racing I opened it an stiffened up once again. This time she was laying on her belly and cuddling her pillow looking at me from the side with a extremely pouty look. No message was attached to this so I had no distraction from the swell of her chest pressed against the mattress. I closed it feeling shameless for looking at her like that when obviously this was just a friendly picture message not to be turned into something like _that_.

 

 _“You sure look lonely over there, also you may want to check your garment before sending someone a picture, it doesn't leave much to the imagination_.” I hit send and sighed flopping backwards hiding my eyes in my arm. I didn’t need to wait long for her response and opened the phone back up.

 

 _“Hm, did Elichi notice something because she was looking?”_ I didn't really understand that statement.Another buzz and my face nearly exploded from heat, the next picture had text actually on it. The text was hoving right over Nozomi’s low cut top forcing me to look at her chest, the top was now sagging even lower the strap having fallen down her shoulder. I looked up at her face she was winking and pushing her index finger into her lips. The text said _“ Looking here maybe?_ ” Okay that was intentional, two can play this game. I sprang up and got ready for bed letting down my hair gathering my pajamas to put on after my bath. I walked to the bathroom and locked the door heart pounding not really believing what I was about to do. I stripped down and looked for a towel and wrapped it around myself and pulling my hair into a messy bun. I grabbed my phone and put on a playful grin and snapped a picture, not even looking at it fearing I might back down I sent it and a message.

 

 _“Opps got me :b”_  

 

I tossed the phone aside and took the towel back off, I instantly regretted all this and decided to just get my bath over with. My eyes kept drifting to my phone nervous for Nozomi’s reaction to my unusual playfulness. I finished up and toweled off getting dressed and walking back to my room. I kept putting off opening the phone. Fear of rejection washed over me, what if she thinks I’m ugly or thinks it was too forced? I shook my head and decided to just face it head on. To my suprise Nozomi had sent three messages no pictures attached, I opened them.

 

_“Holey”_

 

_“Wow”_

 

 _“Elichi is Ecchi_ (´꒳`)”

 

I just stared at the screen, another few messages came in as if she was too impatient to type it into just one message.

 

_“You look really hot btw”_

 

_“Just so you know Id never be able to say that to your face so enjoy it”_

 

 _“You win this time, Good night_ (๑♡⌓♡๑) _”_

 

Laughing I typed out a good night text not responding to the other texts, I felt confidence course through me like never before. **How does she do this to me.**

  


The next few months went by quickly and the end of my first year was just a few days away.Things with Nozomi had stayed the same, we would hang out almost everyday and text non stop when we could. I felt almost bad for taking up so much of her time but I noticed she only really hung out with Nico anyway.We haven't kissed since that afternoon in the student council room but we did share many hugs and suggestive texts. I had yet to get invited into her house. I slightly felt like she was hiding something from me when I would hint at me coming inside. She would always laugh it off and say it's getting late or maybe next time. I also started to notice she never talked about family, she would just nod and listen to me whenever I would complain about mine.I decided to bring it up one afternoon on our way to hang out with Nico at the mall.

 

 _“It’s been so hot lately, would be nice to hang out indoors for once.”_ I looked at her but she was just smiling and looking ahead.She held my hand a bit tighter.

 

 _“We are going to be inside at the mall all day silly did you forget where we were going?”_ And she once again avoided the topic,I pressed on.

 

 _“I know that, I mean why don’t we hang out at eachothers house.”_ I made sure I was watching her carefully, she wasn't able to hide her slight shock and she shot me a quick glance sensing me staring at her. **Gotcha.**

 

 _“Fine why don’t we go to your place after?”_ I stopped walking letting go of her hand. She noticed instantly and stopped too. I looked down feeling frustration wash over me. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the loud calling of a short girl running over to us. I looked over and Nico was trotting over her frilly dress swaying making her look like a life size doll.Nozomi ran over to her and they both started to chat. I decided to just forget about the whole thing and walked over to them.

 

The day went faster than expected, we hit up multiple idol shops thanks to Nico and were now sitting down at the cafe to have tea and lunch.I was looking over the menu listening to Nozomi and Nico chat about various topics but idols seemed to keep coming up.

 

 _“The way they dance is just amazing I know I could definitely match up to them quickly”_ Nico was exclaming to Nozomi who was just smiling a nodding sipping her tea.Nico jumped up and did a twirl and struck a cutesy pose I had to admit looked good on her. I looked over at Nozomi who now looked at Nico mischievously, my stomach dropped as I watched her sneak over to the unexpecting Nico who was dancing and not paying any mind. The look of shock and then anger came over her face as Nozomi procedid to latch onto her chest from behind her.

 

 _“Don’t you think you are lacking a bit in this area to be a famous idol?”_ Nozomi emphasized her words rubbing up and down earning a irritated groin from Nico. I watched them bicker and Nozomi chase Nico around. I felt something bubbling up in the pit of my stomach at watching them.Getting frustrated like earlier I just threw down my share of the bill and walked out. I walked over to the bench outside of the shop and waited for them. Staring up at the clouds watching them roll by wondering what came over me like that.I had been getting easily frustrated all day and didn’t understand why.

 

Hearing the door chime I looked up seeing Nozomi and Nico, they walked over to me and Nozomi gave me a worried look.I looked away pretending to watch the people pass by but I could still feel her gaze. Nico spoke up first and I felt myself getting more irritated the longer she spoke.

 

 _“Master Idol Nico defeated the giant chested woman and can now move on to higher level dances”_ I heard Nozomi giggle and she raised her hands up in a grabbing motion and Nico backed away from her.

 

 _“If you can even consider Idols dancers”_ I felt both sets of eyes on me now, I immediately regret my rude comment and went to apologize but Nico cut me off.

 

_“I have to head home sorry, I had fun today And yes they are dancers, the best dancers there are”_

Nico turned on her heel and hurried off. I felt terrible for saying that to her and made a mental note to apologize to her next time I seen her. Now it was just me and Nozomi, we stayed there in awkward silence but I could feel her burning holes in my face. I finally decided to look at her and could see that she seemed concerned but she stayed silent.

 

I couldn’t stand it anymore and stood up walking past her, I could hear her light footsteps behind me as she followed. She made no indication that she was going to talk to me so I just stayed silent as well. Having walked her home plenty of times by now I lead us right to the doorstep of her apartment building.I turned to her but she wasn't looking at me just holding her hands in front of her and looking down,She did however speak softly.

 

 _“You seem pretty stressed out today”_ She stated still looking down, I felt a pang of guilt but that annoyance was still there, mostly with myself.I waited for her to continue.

 

“Do you not want to hang out with me anymore?” I wasn't expecting that, I sighed and walked over to her placing a hand on her shoulder trying to catch her eyes. She looked up at me in confusion and I shook my head.

 

 _“It’s not that”_  Her eyes hardened slightly and she looked to the side.Taking my hand off her shoulder she walked past me.

 

 _“I see well what you said to Nico was pretty rude,not like you at all.”_ I felt the frustration coming back again watching her walk over to her door, I knew what was coming next.

 

 _“Anyway I’ll see you later-”_ I rushed over to her and flung my arms around her almost toppling us over. Nozomi gasped and slipped holding onto the door handle for support making the door open and us stumble inside. I noticed and chuckled pulling back a bit.

 

_“Looks like you finally let me inside”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if I made Eli seem super moody in this one, It's for a good reason okay XD the next chapter with shed some light on that if you haven't already guessed already.


	6. Nozomi's apartment

We stayed still for a moment, I wanted to look around at the buildings interior but I stayed focused on the girl in my arms.I could feel Nozomi getting anssie and she was blushing furiously. She put Her hands on my shoulders and lightly pushed me off her adjusting her shirt and looking at me. I couldn't quite read her but she looked more embarrassed than anything.

 

“ _I didn't let you in we fell in dummy, I suppose you can come up since you are here.”_ She seemed reluctant to let me inside which confused and frustrated me again but I silently nodded closing the door behind me and following her up the stairs. Trying to take in the entrance way of the apartment building it seemed plan like the outside but still interested me, anything to do with Nozomi was interesting. The walk upstairs was pretty long and I had to catch myself from looking at the girl in front of me’s backside as she trudged up ahead of me. As if she knew my struggle she kept a hand holding her skirt in place, I thanked and also cursed the gods for this. When we got to her floor she walked all the way down to the very end and opened the door, I quickly trotted over and bowed entering. It was a small place but had a homey feeling. I noticed it was pretty empty save for a few furniture items. Nozomi dropped her purse and walked into the kitchen reaching for a pig shaped tea pot and motioned me to sit down. I smiled at the teapot choice and took a seat watching her busy herself with the tea in the kitchen. Something about all of this made warmth spread throughout my body and I had forgotten all about the frustration I held earlier that day. I did notice right away how quiet it was.

 

 _“Say Nozomi, are we alone?”_ She stopped moving with her back turned to me so I couldn't tell her reaction but I was hoping I didn't say the wrong thing again. She finished up making us tea and brought it over serving us both and taking a seat across from me. She held her cup In her hands looking down at it.

 

“ _Yes we are , I live alone here.”_ She looked up at me to gauge my reaction but I nodded trying not to look to surprised, I was curious to know about her family but decided to let her tell me on her own. She sipped at her tea as did I, enjoying the calm silence of eachothers company was something we both come to love. I took the time to look around again and noticed there was two other rooms, which must have been the bathroom and bedroom. My heart started to thump at the thought of what was behind that last door. Remembering the pictures she had taken and sent to me in her bed, **I wonder if I will ever get to go in there.** I set my cup down a bit to hard and it made a loud clack making us both jump. I laughed shakily and apologized.She smiled and followed my eyes to her door and a playful smirk came to her lips.I was still lost in my thoughts and didn't notice she had gotten up and walked behind me.I nearly screamed when she placed her hands softly on my shoulders leaning into me. I felt her chest pressing into the back of my head and just stared wide eyed in front of me.

 

 _“Would you like a tour? It’s not much to see but it’s the least I can do for my guest.”_ The way she said guest made me feel like she implied something more but I ignored that thought and agreed to the tour. Nozomi took me in a circle around her living room and kitchen describing it as extravagant as possible pointing out every little thing and describing it making me giggle. Next we went to the bathroom, it was like any ordinary bathroom but I caught sight of the different soaps she used and smiled knowing now I was right about the flower aroma always coming from her. I also noticed a purple devil rubber duck sitting on the side of the tub and shot her a amused look and she blushed hurrying me out of the room. Pausing she looked behind her shoulder and grabbed my hand leading me into her bedroom, I was immediately met with Nozomi’s natural scent and I felt my head getting foggy.

 

 _“Well this is it my boring house, I hope it lived up to your expectations”_ She looked away playing with the front of her skirt and I smiled at her shaking my head.

 

 _“It’s not boring at all it’s very you, I feel honored to be able to see it.”_ I looked around at all the things neatly placed around the room. I noticed the pictures of her as a young girl standing with who I was assuming to be her parents, the woman had strong dark green eyes and Bright Red hair ,and a man that had a lighter minty color eye color and light blue hair. That left me wondering where these people are. I looked away and noticed Nozomi taking a seat on her bed looking at me expectantly so I crawled over to her and rested my back against the wall with her. I was careful not to sit far or close letting her decide later on the distance and folded my hands in my lap. I knew sitting on her bed was a simple action but my heart still started to pound not being able to focus on anything with the now stronger scent of the girl beside me. I wanted to sprawl out and burrow deep into her comfortable looking blankets but instead I cleared my throat and turned to her.

 

 _“I am sorry for always being so stubborn.”_ I don't know where that came from but I felt the need to apologize for my actions. Her eyes softened and she gave me a light smile placing her hand on mine.

 

 _“No need to apologize for being you, I understand I can be a handful. Try and be patient with me I don't have many people to share myself with.”_ This statement made me even more curious but she answered all my questions before I asked them.

 

 _“I live here alone because I finally felt a connection worth staying for, My parents had us moving around a lot due to work and I never got to make any friends or settle down. I was supposed to be moving again at the end of the year but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I love this place to much, and It helps that I finally felt like I met someone I could be myself fully around.”_ She squeezed my hand like she does and I just looked at her in awe listening intently.  

 

 _“I convinced my parents to let me stay here for good and I moved into this apartment a few months ago, hence why it's so bare”_ It was all starting to make sense and I smiled nodding.

 

 _“I’m glad you can finally feel secure and happy_ ” Nozomi was looking at me, It was the kind of stare that goes right past your eyes and into your soul. I felt like my button up shirt was getting a  restricting the longer we stared at each other and I pulled at my colar with my free hand.

 

 _“Ah, is it getting a bit hot?”_  Nozomi hummed and kept looking at me her stare turning more predatory, not saying anything she scooter closer to me.I pressed my back into the wall not moving over but grounding myself just watching her. She placed the hand not holding mine on my knee and I tried not to jump feeling her face getting closer to me all the while. I knew what was about to happen but I didn't move I just stayed still, trying to control my breathing so she didn't notice how hard it was for me to get ahold of myself. The heat rising to my face was a clear indicator though. I felt her giggle against my ear and I let out the shaky breath I was holding.

 

 _“Why so stiff Elichi?”_ She whispered and I felt a shiver rack my body, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I turned my face towards hers and crashed our lips together.I felt her gasp against my mouth and I deepened the kiss pushing into her. I snaked my hand up her neck and held her in place, putting my other hand on her thigh as pay back this made her inhale sharply. Kissing at this angle was getting uncomfterble and I decided to get bolder and withdrew from her briefly. She had her eyes closed still and a bright pink hue was dusting her cheeks. I pushed myself forward and straddled her lap, the sudden weight on her made her eyes shoot open and she looked up at me, before she could say anything I connected our lips again. I linked my arms around her neck and lightly rocked back and forth on top of her. Nozomi's shaky hands grasped onto my shirt as she returned the kiss with just as much fire and pressed our chest together. I felt electricity through my body at the contact. I noticed I was sweating now and my heart was beating so hard it almost hurt but it felt so good I never wanted it to end. All of this was short lived as my cell phone started to go off in my pocket jolting us both out of the trance we were in. Nozomi audibly pouted and leaned against the wall looking to the side painting and letting her hands drop off of me. I gave her an apologetic look and slipped of her and onto the bed next to her.The caller ID showed it was my mother and that it was now a little past 8. My heart sank remembering I forgot to tell my mom I was at Nozomi’s house.

 

 _“H-Hello mother?”_ I cleared my throat trying to calm my racing heart still not recovered from the previous activities.

 

 _“Yes, your father and I would appreciate it if you let us know if you are not going to be home at a decent time. Why are you breathing so heavy, Is everything alright?”_ I stopped breathing all together mentally cursing.

 

 _“Yeah I am fine, I apologize a friend invited me over after our shopping trip I lost track of time.”_ I could hear a disapproving tut on the other line and I put my head in my hand. I almost lost control of my breathing again when I fel the bed shift and Nozomi crawl over to me. I prayed that she was just getting up and not going to tease me like she was doing right then. Nozomi’s hands snuck themselves around my waist and was playing with the hem of my shirt while her face buried into my neck. I tried to squirm away from her but she had a death grip on me and I just sat still not wanting to make anymore noise to alert my mother of what was happening.

 

 _“A friend? Who is this friend, you will have to bring them over sometime. It’s getting late please make your way home soon, we will talk about possible future sleepovers when you get home.”_ My heart was thumping again for more than one reason, the mention of a sleep over that I hadn't even brought up or thought about before and the fact Nozomi was lightly nipping at my neck. I couldn't believe how bold the purple haired girl was being but I thought it had something to do with me being distracted.

 

 _“A-alright be home soon bye”_ I hung up the phone with a sigh and turned to the girl now detaching herself from me and giggling. I glared at her but not to venomously.

 

 _“Really?”_ Nozomi merely shrugged and got up smoothing out her clothing and acted as if she wasn't just attached to my neck seconds ago. I got up to pocketing my phone and walking to the doorway looking awkwardly to the side.

 

 _“I’ll walk you out come on”_ Nozomi tugged me to the front door and opened it, we stood in the hallway for a moment before she turned her head blushing, I took the hint and kissed her lightly on the cheek and giving her a half hug.She looked down smiling and glowing up to her ears and I felt pride swell in my chest at my achievement.

 

 _“I’ll see you tomorrow Nozomi, Oh and tell Nico I need to talk to her please I don’t have her number.”_ I went to leave and she grabbed my hand, I turned around she was looking down still biting her lip.

 

 _“I heard what your mom said, Is it really okay for me to meet them?”_ I gulped also remembering this, I was worried my family , particularly my parents might make Nozomi uncomfterble. I nodded and held her hand tightly.

  
_“Yeah, I will be fine if all goes well we can see eachother even more.”_ I winked and let her go turning to leave again not waiting to see the flustered look she gave me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is, sorry this one is short I'll have more in the next one!


	7. The dinner

Summer break was now started and a few day’s in, my parent’s had been giving me more freedom to go out more with less questions. I of course spent most of my time hanging out with Nozomi and doing homework for the next term.This particular day I was spending time locked in my room grinding through all of my work, wanting to get it done with as soon as possible to leave me more time with the girl always on my mind, but having her clouding my mind was making it hard to concentrate on the mountain of work in front of me. Sure not all of it was school work , the majority of it was student council documents, things needed to get organized and finished for the new year coming up. Throwing down my pen I contemplated calling Nozomi over to help me with the student council work but decided against it. My parents sat down stairs and my sister in her room, I didn’t want to expose Nozomi to my family just yet.

I walked over to my bed and flopped down thinking back the first night at Nozomi’s house, how it felt to be so close to her and not overthinking everything. I squeezed my pillow tightly feeling my face heat up the longer I thought about it.Would letting her come over really be that bad? I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out. A text from my mom asking me what I wanted for dinner. Closing my eyes I thought about Nozomi’s favorite food. **That’s it I’m inviting her over.**

I sent my mom a text requesting Yakiniku (Grilled meat) and also asking permission to have Nozomi come over for dinner, I waited a minute or so and my phone buzzed.

 

 _“Sounds good we haven't had that in a long while. Is this the girl you have been hanging out with all the time? She’s welcome to stay over tonight just keep it down your father has an early morning tomorrow_ ”

 

My mother seemed to be very curious about Nozomi and it scared me a little, not wanting her to intimidate Nozomi her first time coming over.

 

 _“Yes thats Nozomi, I will ask her if she wants to stay over thank you.”_ I opened the purple haired girls contact and stared at the photo, It was the picture of her laying in bed but you could only see her face. I smiled and decided to call her instead of text feeling over excited. I waited slightly bouncing my leg while the phone rang. Nozomi picked up rather quickly and I smiled even more.

 

 _“What do I owe this pleasant surprise Elichi, you told me you were busy today.”_ Groaning I looked over at the pile of work.

 

 _“I am- I mean was… I uh had a question”_ I heard a small giggle and I knew I was going to regret this but oh well.

 

 _“You couldn’t text me? Oh let me guess you got over excited again and just had to hear my voice”_ I could hear the teasing tone and just knew she wore that smug smile.

 

 _“You know what actually never mind-”_ Before I could finish she interrupted.

 

 _“No no I’m sorry please go one what is it?_ She sounded sincere enough and I let out a faux sigh of annoyance and continued.

 

 _“M-my mom is making Yakiniku and I know how much you like it, uhm do you maybe want to come over for dinner andpossiblystaythenight.”_ I let out the last part in one breath almost hoping she didn't hear me and wouldn't ask but I’m never that lucky

 

 _“I didn't hear that last part what?”_ There it was again that damn smug tone, I took a breath trying to concentrate on not making a fool of myself, **this is so simple why can’t I keep it together?**

 

 _“You are welcome to stay the night after dinner.”_ My voice even and calm I patted myself on the back but the feeling inside waiting for her answer was anything but calm.

 _“Oh! I do love Yakiniku, you remembered~”_ I didn't answer just listened to her go on about different ways to prepare it and sides that go good with it. I knew she was avoiding my question on purpose but didn't feed into it knowing she would just fluster me again. Finally I interjected needing to push things along.

 

_“Dinners at 8 would you like me to walk you here or-”_

 

 _“No that's not necessary I can walk there myself, I should get ready you gave me what an hour, how rude of you”_ She giggled and I just huffed laying backwards. We stayed silent before she cleared her throat and said her farewell. I hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. I shot up suddenly realizing  my room was a mess and hurried trying to clean everything before having to go downstairs and prepare for dinner. I threw clothes into my closet made the bed, then my head shot to the work on the desk, not wanting her to comment on it, I also threw the pile into the closet and stepped back to admire the halfway decent room.I never did get an answer to her staying over but I still felt nervous. Just then I could hear my mom calling Alisa and I down to help set the table.

 

I lept down the stairs and almost knocked Alisa down in the process I turned around and apologised.

 

 _“Opps, hey I’m having Nozomi over tonight you can hang out with us for a bit after dinner if you want.”_ Inviting Alisa may ease a bit of the awkward tension of us hanging out for the first time at my house but my sister seemed to want me to suffer just as much.

 

 _“Oh wow I wish I had known, I’m going over to Yukiho’s for the night, Hope you guys have fun!”_ She skipped off to the kitchen as if she didn’t just dig my early grave. I followed after her to find my mother preparing everything for dinner she had Alisa start carrying out all of the dishes and food and turned to me.

 

 _“There you are, when is Nozomi chan going to be here? I had Alisa set her a plate next to you so she feels more comfortable”_  I thanked her for that in my head hoping she stayed this way the whole night.

 

 _“I’m not sure actul-”_ I stopped hearing the door chime and Alsia bounding down the hallway to answer it.

 

 _“Ah that’s probably her, well go greet your guest, just meet us at the table”_ With that she carried a large tray into the next room and I set off for the front door.I walked down the hall hearing Alisa chatting excitedly with Nozomi.

 

 _“I really did want to hang out with you guys I’m sorry!”_ Alisa hung her head and Nozomi giggled and patted her with her free hand, I looked down and could see her holding a rather fancy looking bag. On the floor next to her was a small overnight bag and I felt my heart fly into my throat. **So she is staying over.**

 

 _“It’s okay no worries right Elichi?”_ Nozomi turned to me noticing me standing there. I walked closer looking at the bag in her hand curiosity tugging at me.

 

 _“Uh yeah say Nozomi what’s that?”_ I pointed at the bag and her eyes followed mine and she looked up at me with a mischievous smile.I didn’t like where this was going and panic shot through me,looking over at Alisa who was now looking between us curiosity quickly building.

 

 _“Oh it’s just a big bottle of aged wine_ ” Nozomi smiled over at me sweetly but my jaw dropped and she tried to hold back laughter.

 

“ _You can’t be serious, How did you-”_ Alisa’s eyes lit up and she started jumping up and down.

 

 _“Oh I want some!”_ Nozomi was in an all out fit of laughter now and I quickly slapped my hand over Alisa’s mouth getting her to be quiet about the alcohol.

 

 _“Nozomi you cant-”_ I was caught in mid sentence when out mother walked in the entrance way. Her eyes went between all of us and rested on Nozomi.

 

 _“Hello you must be Nozomi, Eli talks of you fondly. I’m Eli and Alisa’s Mother”_ I watched in horror as Nozomi bowed and greeted my mother. She handed over the gift and thanked her for letting her come over. I couldn’t concentrate on the formalities my eyes were focused on the bag and how to get it out off my mother's hands but I heard them talking about the contents.

 

 _“How thoughtful, may I?”_ My head shot to Nozomi watching her smile warmly at my mother and nodding. My heart started to pound desperately hoping my mother's reaction to underage alcohol purchasing wasn't to severe.To my great astonishment and annoyance my mother pulled out a large lavish looking chocolate cake. Again my head shot over to Nozomi who was smirking at me.My mother went on about how good it looked and that we could have it after dinner.She walked away Alisa trotting after her.

 

 _“You are the absolute worst you know that?”_ Nozomi covered her mouth hiding another fit of giggles and she walked past me towards where my mother and sister disappeared. I followed close behind disgruntled and feeling dumb for falling for her joke.

 

We started dinner and it was overall a peaceful mood , mother and father talking about work and to Alisa about school, which left Nozomi and I to talk among ourselves for a bit. She had mostly finished her meal but I was to nervous and hadn't eaten much.

 

 _“So you never did say if you were going to stay over, but I see you brought an overnight bag. Or was that full of wine too?”_ Nozomi didn’t answer she finished her food and addressed my mother.

 

 _“That was delicious Mrs. Ayase thank you so much”_ I just stared at her feeling peeved she ignored me again but I decided to not make it a big deal in front of everyone.My mother looked over to her and smiled nodding.

 

_“Thank you dear, it was nice to have someone close to Eli come over. You see she doesn’t bring anyone, let alone talk about anyone so when she started to stay out longer and actually brighten up I took an interest.”_

 

I started to get nervous again hoping this conversation stayed light but it didn't look to likely. Nozomi answered all my mothers questions as formally as possible but the more invasive they got I could see her starting to get a bit flustered.

 

 _“It would be nice to have a get together with your parent’s sometime would they be free sometime soon?”_ My eyes widened and I looked over at Nozomi who looked slightly apprehensive but my mother probably didn’t pick up on it. I hadn’t mention the absence of Nozomi’s parents at all to my parent’s, this subject was bound to come up at some point.

 

 _“My apologies but my parent’s will be out of town for quite some time with work.”_ My mother looked surprised but nodded.I lightly sighed thanking the gods, I still felt tension building in my body listening to them chat.

 

 _“That is to bad, we will have to wait for them to get back, you must be responsible for them to leave you to your own devices for so long. That means you two have had no adult supervision when at your home correct?”_ My heart started to hammer and I just stared down at my plate knowing my mother's eyes wear on me, I was never going to hear the end of this. Nozomi lightly laughed and shook her head.

 _“I take it Elichi hasn't informed you of this, how naughty of her.”_ I screamed internally why would she say it like that, why would she call me that here in front of my family.My mother laughed and got up to collect the plates.

 

 _“Naughty indeed, but no matter.I trust the two of you, if you can run the student council you can function alone for a few hours I am sure.”_ I just sat stiffly in my chair regretting my existence in the world. My mother and my….what was Nozomi to me? Well whatever they were getting along like they had been friends for years and it was all at my expense, my sister and father off in there own world payed us no attention and dug into the cake my mother served to us all.

 

I stared down at the large piece my mother sat in front of me and felt my hand moving on its own, Nozomi knew I had a soft spot for chocolate and this looked amazing.We all finished our cake and I got up and offered to help with cleaning up. My mother just shook her head while hugging Alisa goodbye as her and my father walked outside to take off to Yukiho’s house.

 

 _“Don’t worry about it you two go have fun, your father and I will be going to bed when he gets home so no loud music or whatever else kid’s your age do_ ” I nodded, inwardly groning at the term “kids”. Nozomi thanked my mother again for the meal and followed me upstairs. Each step my heart pounded harder till we made it to my room. I looked at her and she smiled and nodded and I opened the door letting her inside. I wondered if she felt the same way I had the first time I stepped into her personal space.

 

 _“Nice digs”_ I cringed at her use in slang and I watched her flop down onto my bed after tossing her bag into the corner.I laughed nervously and sat down on the side of the bed, this was the first time having anyone inside of my room other than my family and I didn’t know what to do with my body so I just watched her roll around in my blankets like a cat. I smiled and knew now yes she felt the same way I had.Nozomi noticed me staring and smirked yanking me down into a half sitting half lying position pushing my face into her chest.

 

 _“Loosen up will ya, I could almost feel the tension radiating off you at dinner, your mom isn’t as bad as you make her out to be. She’s just looking out for your best interests you know_.” I sighed, she was right but it didn't help me feel any less stifled. I didn’t say anything but nuzzled into her breathing in her light flower scent, feeling my nerves unwind slightly.I moved over slightly so I could hook my arm around her waist and pull myself closer to her. She giggled lightly and I felt it vibrate against my face. This in turn made my hands ghost up her sides to tickle her drawing more laughter and her trying to squirm away.

 

 _“Pay back for always putting me through hell”_ A look of terror graced her pretty face as I slunk up her further, pinning her down with my body still tickling her sides. She was wiggling madly as she could in my death grip and painfully laughing trying to cover her mouth with her non trapped hand.

 

 _“I-ha I’m sorry~ please stop hah I’m going to get really loud and get us in trouble.”_ Nozomi had squeaked out under me but I stopped slightly now just running my hands over her sides her shirt now bunched up giving my access to her soft skin underneath. She seemed to distracted to notice I had my hands there but I quickly realized the position we were in and I froze. My face was now buried in her neck and I could feel Nozomi’s rapid pulse against my lips.I left an experimental kiss there causing her to shudder and also stop moving.I removed my hands from her sides and placed them above us on either side of her head and peppered her neck with more kisses some harder than others and I felt her responding to each one with a slight sigh or small movement.I felt enough confidence to press my whole body down onto hers and felt her legs intangle with mine. I didn’t know how much heat the human body could take before bursting but I knew my limit was close, I still couldn’t stop everything just felt so right.

 

I had my eyes closed just breathing in and feeling the softness of her body against mine mixed in with my plush blankets. **This is heaven.** I decided to scoot down and rest my head on her chest again, I could feel her heart thumping fast and loudly it making me smile. I looked up at her she was staring up at the ceiling with a nervous spaced out expression. She felt me staring and smiled draping and arm down my back her other hand playing with my hair.

 

 _“You like my chest doncha?”_ I felt my cheeks burn and I buried it deeper into her hoping she didn't see. She giggled and pulled my face up quirking an eyebrow.

 

 _“Who wouldn’t It’s not exactly hard to miss”_ My eyes looked to the side embarrassed.

 

 _“Yeah but I only catch you looking, you know you can touch them whenever you want right?”_ I almost choked hearing that. I looked at her then down at her chest and away again. I sat up slightly rolling of her and onto my side. She looked at me confused but I raised my hand hovering over her.

 

 _“Y-you really don’t mind?”_ I wasn’t going to lie and say I didn't want to touch her like this, I had thought about it often after the so many hugs we had shared but always thought better of it not wanting to make her think I was some pervert.I certainly still felt like a pervert though. Nozomi laughed and shook her head.

 

 _“You can touch me any time you like, but if you touch me your telling me you want to be touched too.”_ She winked after the last part and put her hand on my face running it down my neck. I gulped letting her hand go where it wanted, feeling it rest on my chest. Nozomi’s face lit up and she had a wicked grin plastered on her face it almost scared me but she just laughed and pulled her hand away. Placing it on mine that was still hovering above her.

 

 _“Here you go first”_ With that she pushed our hands down and onto her pillowy bosom.I gasped feeling softness all around my hand and she moved my arm around making the chest move around and jiggle. My face was hotter than it had been all night and I just watched as she moved my hand around. I could hear her giggle breathlessly and I felt heat shoot in the pit of my stomach at the look she was giving me. Her eyes had been half closed and her lips now pouting like she was begging me to kiss them. I couldn't move though just stared down at her. Nozomi took the hint and pulled me down and pulled my face closer to her’s.

 

“ _How was that, as soft as you imagined?”_ She whispered against my lips and my eyes just widened.

 

 _“I-how did you”_ I sputtered before she pressed her lips to mine softly. This kiss felt different from the others we had shared. I didn't feel the nervous desperation charged electricity.It was like I was drifting away in a cool breeze. It sent tingles up my spine and made my head go foggy. I felt her fingers tangle into my hair and she pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. I let her control my body just following her into the dark were it was just me and her. Nothing mattered and we stayed like that for what felt like hours just embracing and softly kissing, I felt my body getting drowsy but I didn't want to ever disconnect from her lips. I did some time later and opened my eyes to see her sleepy eyes staring back at me half opened. Her Cheeks were pink and lips slightly swollen.I laughed and patted her head going to getting up.

 

 _“We should probably get ready for bed”_ Nozomi had rolled over and grabbed my arm staring up at me with pleading eyes.I bit my lip and sat back down, she wiggled her way over to me and huged my waist putting her head on my lap. I smiled and pet her head lightly.

 _“What I was just going to turn off the light and get your bed ready.”_ I felt her squeeze me tighter and mumble somthing into my lap. I leaned down not being able to hear her.

 

 _“What was that?_ ” She looked up at me with a half frustrated half pouting look and I laughed, Her hair was all muffed up and she looked so adorable.

 

 _“Why can’t I just sleep here?”_ I stopped laughing and looked at her, she looked serious now and I felt my throat go dry.

 

 _“Uh-I mean yeah I guess you could sleep in my bed I’ll take the-”_ She silenced me with her finger and pushed me down onto the bed. Nozomi then got up to rummage in her bag grabbing a night gown and shucking her shirt into the bag along with her pants. My eyes widened at the sudden absence of clothes then turning away trying not to stare at her.

 

 _“What are you looking at, get ready for bed silly”_ I shook my head and jumped up finding something fitting for sleep and quickly changed, my back to her.I could hear her sit back down on my bed and when I was done I turned around to see her already under the blankets. I sighed and walked over to the light switch and flicked it off. I crawled into the bed next to her and she immediately latched onto me nuzzling into my chest. I could feel sleep prickling at my eyes but I wanted to feel this for a bit longer. We didn’t say anything for awhile and I couldn't tell if she was asleep or not so I held onto her tighter and kissed the top of her head.

 

 _“Thank you for being so persistent”_  Silence, I smiled and drifted off into sleep not hearing the quiet _“Thank you for being so patient”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Nozomi finally got to meet Eli's family formally...why must these two always get carried away ehe ^w^ this one was pretty fun to write, I will be trying to do longer chapters like this when I have free time, let me know if you like it!


	8. Fireflies

_“I’m sorry Elichi I’m In love with him, It could never have worked with us anyway. You never tried for us in the first place remember?”_

 

I watched as Nozomi linked arms with a familiar blue haired boy and he shot me a victorious grin.

 

 _“As If anyone would want_ **_you_ ** _”_ The boy sneered at me and Nozomi looked past me as if I wasn’t there at all.

 

_Buzz Buzz_

 

I felt tears fill my eyes and I turned to Nozomi holding my hands out to her but she and Touma got further and further away, bright green hues swam around me and withered into darkness.

 

_“Nozomi don’t Go!”_

 

_Buzz Buzz_

 

Loud echoing laughter surrounded me and I fell to my knees looking up feeling nothing. So this is it, **she doesn't lo-**

 

_“ELICHI!!”_

 

I jumped and shot up chest heaving and heart racing. I could still hear the buzz from my phone going off and I searched wildly for it, it was laying on my desk going off loudly. Stumbling out of bed I grabbed it seeing my mom’s contact pop up.

 

 _“H-hello sorry Mom I was asleep”_ I heard a disapproving tisk on the other end and I sat down on the side of my bed, I had totally forgotten the other occupant until I felt movement behind me.I looked over my shoulder to see Nozomi sitting up looking at me with concern. Had she been the one who yelled my name?

 

 _“It’s nearly 12 pm but I guess it can’t be helped I’m sure you two stayed up late.”_ I laughed nervously remembering why we were up late and dodged Nozomi’s questioning eyes.

 

 _“Anyway I called to let you know Alisa is staying at her friends again and your father and I will be going to a work function, Nozomi is more than welcome to stay over again but do make sure you get all of your work done don’t put it off until the end of break”_ I felt excitement flow through me, I finished things up with mother and hung up the phone. Sighing I flopped back onto the bed careful not to hit Nozomi.

 

 _“So are you going to invite me to stay another night or do I assume I am?”_ I looked over at her amused at the sas in her tone.I chose to ignore her question and instead got up out of bed, stretching I walked over to the closet and groaned pulling it open. A pile of papers spilled out and I crouched down to pick them all up. I heard a shift on the bed and looked over to see Nozomi getting up to help me.I shook my head and held her back away from the papers.

 

 _“I got this, I’m just setting them out so I dont forget about them. I’m going to make us lunch”_ Nozomi let out a quiet hum and stood back letting me get up to put the papers on the desk. I went to walk past her but she pulled me into a tight hug.

 

 _“Hey why don't we go out somewhere? I’ll buy. Then we can work on that stuff”_ She had said closely to my ear, my body stiffened remembering last nights dream Nozomi, **You never tried for us.** Was she right? Did things really seem any different with us than before. Sure we had shared a few close moments but, we were still friends after all. At some point Nozomi was going to want me to step up and take things further, but I knew deep down I couldn't do that to her. Knowing I was to be married off, I selfishly pushed that to the side and  foolishly let things get this far. Now I sit with the girl of my dreams holding me tight and showering me in affection, affection I don't deserve. I placed my hands on her soft shoulders willing myself to push this girl away, the one person who understands me. I lightly nudged her off me looking to the side trying to forget confusion and slight hurt on her face.

 

 _“I actually... I think I should do this alone and probably walk you home after lunch”_ Nozomi looked even more confused, but a it was quickly replaced with amusement.

 

 _“Oh come on Elichi I really don’t mind-”_ Already feeling my walls being torn down I backed away.

 

 _“I mind, I think we should spend a little less time together I’m getting too distracted to do my work”_ I almost choked up seeing the look Nozomi gave me, It was close to the one she had given to me the first day I had rejected her. I tried to avoid looking into her eyes but I couldn't keep myself from getting sucked into that brilliant hue. Nozomi stared right through me just like in my dream only this time is was as if I was the only person in her world.

 

 _“You really mean that?”_ She took a step closer and I backed up not wanting to hurt her, I had to find a way out of this. Nozomi kept walking forward till she had me backed into my desk. I placed my hands on the hard surface trying to find the strength to say the words, but I just couldn’t.

 

 _“Or Is it something else?”_ She tilted her head trying to catch my eyes.I gripped the desk hard and looked down, I let out a shaky breath and just stayed still, like a deer in headlights but Nozomi wasn't a car to distracted to not see me. No, she’s persistent and understanding and knows I get scared easy so that's why she waits, gives me time and space to explain to her.

 

 _“It’s not true Nozomi, far from true. I just can’t keep spending time with you even though it’s the best thing in my life right now.”_ I could feel her staring at me but neither of us moved, She waited longer for me to continue but I couldn’t find the words to say.I felt tears sting my eyes from sadness, longing, frustration just everything overwhelming me. I didn’t want her to see me like this, so weak and unable to even tell her the truth.

 

 _“Eli you know you can tell me anything. No matter what it is I’ll be here to help you through it just please don’t push me out.”_  Nozomi stepped closer lifting up my face to see tears silently streaming down my cheeks. Rubbing them away with her thumbs she pressed our foreheads together and sighed against my lips."Your _all I have”_

I felt sobs choking me and making it hard to breath. I closed my eyes and nodded pulling her into me holding her tightly around the waist.

 

 _“I-I’m scared”_ I heard her chuckle lightly as she wraped her arms around my shoulders and buried her face into my neck. I felt her hand tangle itself into my hair lightly scratching my scalp, the fear starting to dissipate.

 

_“Silly Elichi, you don’t think I’m not scared? I never had something like this before. I get scared every time you leave it will be the last time I will see you,I don’t know what I would do, you have me quite spoiled. Maybe I’m being selfish but I want to spent all my days with you even after we graduate.”_

 

I felt a fresh new wave of sobbs come over me and I just let it all out on her the shoulder. I had to tell her the truth she deserves that much even if it means us not being able to stay as we are. **What are we anyway?**

 

Trying to catch my breath I held onto her tightly as if she was going to vanish, I felt her giggle and hold me just as tight.

 

 _“Nozomi I have something I need to tell you, It may change your view of me and I don't blame you if you hate me for hiding it from you for so long but I didn't know how to tell you, I just care about you so much and I don't want to lose you.”_ I choked out against her neck feeling her hum for me to continue.

 

 _“I’m, well my parent’s set up for me to be married after school.”_ I waited holding my breath but she said nothing we stayed silent for a moment and I continued wanting to explain.

 

 _“The marriage will help my father's business and also our family, my fiance will take over after my father and I will have done my family name a great service”_ I felt sick saying these things out loud after shoving them to the back of my mind for so long. Nozomi said nothing and was still holding onto me tightly.

 

 _“Nozomi?”_ I pulled back slightly to look at her, she had a sad smile and I could see her trying to hold back tears but she looked at me a nodded and resting her hands on my chest letting me hold her.

 

 _“Of course yes, how could I think someone like me could dream of courting such an amazing and talented person like Elichi. Well I will support you in anyway I can If this is what makes you happy.”_ My heart was shattering at the words falling from her lips. A goddess should never look so sad and It’s my fault.

 

 _“You do though! You deserve so much more than what I could ever give you Nozomi. No it doesn’t make me happy, you make me happy.”_ Nozomi jumped at the sudden volume of my voice and I watched her cheeks go red as she looked to the side.

 

 _“Then what do you want Eli?”_ Nozomi looked me in the eyes and held my gaze, what do I want? I don't know I never know, I don’t see a way out of this marriage I didn’t want to let my parents down or ruin our family name but could I really be happy like this. I don’t remember a time I was truly happy until gazing into the same eyes searching my own for an answer to this inner turmoil.

 

 _“I want”_ I felt as though my whole being was falling further into a calming spring breeze the longer we looked at each other. Nozomi just smiled and placed a hand on my cheek waiting for me. I know she will always be waiting, I need to stop making her wait.

 

 _“I want you Nozomi, will you do me the honor of sticking by my side?”_ We both let out the breath we were holding and I felt her hands trembling on my skin. She lunged forward and connected our lips.I had to brace myself against the desk but I returned her kiss with just as much passion. Breathlessly she disconnected from my lips.

 

 _“Silly I never left it.”_ She giggled and kissed my lips once more resting her forehead against mine.We stayed like that for a few minutes before a loud growl filled the room.My eyes widened and I felt my face heat up, I sighed peeling a laughing Nozomi off of me and folding my arms.

 

 _“Way to ruin the mood”_ Nozomi let out between giggles and whiping her eyes. I walked over to my dresser and pulled out clothes for the day walking past her out of the room.I could still hear her laughing as I walked to the bathroom.I smiled to myself and closed the door. I sighed and leaned against it. I knew I would have to tell my parents at some point about Nozomi and I but I would cross that bridge when it comes, for now I need to focus on school and making my new girlfriend as happy as she deserves. **Wait are we dating now?** My eyes widened and I clutched my shirt, I don't know if I have it in me to ask her. I did just confess, well we both did. Getting ready as fast as I could I sprinted down the hall and wrenched open my door prepared to find out for sure if we were dating now. I heard a gasp and watched a half naked Nozomi jump and cover her chest.

 

 _“Ah crap I’m sorry! I got distracted wanting to ask if we were dating now or not I should have knocked”_ Nozomi turned around and clasped her bra and I tried to look anywhere but the creamy skin of her back.

 

 _“ Jeez Elichi if you wanted to see me naked you could have just asked.”_ I let out a flustered noise and she laughed pulling on her shirt.

 

 _“Oh and I don’t know you tell me”_ She smirked walking past me to the door, she got half way through it and turned to me.

 

 _“Where’s the bathroom?”_ I pointed to the left and she smiled sweetly bouncing off closing the door behind her. I sat down on my bed waiting for her to get ready, happyness coursing through me. **I’m going to protect that smile with every fiber of my being.**

 

It was nearly three by the time we found ourselves in quite cafe nearby my house, after much pouting on Nozomi’s and tickling on my end I convinced her to let me pay for our meal. We had ordered and ate silently a lot on our minds but not wanting to bring it up. Nozomi was the first to speak finishing up her meal and grabbing my hand that was resting on the table.

 

 _“So this boy what’s he like? Is he super hot?”_ I nearly choked on my soup and coughed pulling my hand away to grab a napkin.I shot her a glare and she just snickered placing her hands under her chin.I finished wiping my face and turned to her.

 

 _“No he is not_ **_hot_ ** _and actually he is really pompous and arrogant. Makes it easier to hate him.”_ Nozomi just hummed and took my hand again which I let her having finished up my  food and waited for the check.

 

 _“Hate is a nasty word Elichi, surely you don't hate him. He probably just wants to show off and impress you, you can be quite intimidating.”_ I gave her grimace and she just giggled squeezing my hand.

 

 _“I’m not intimidating and anyway I don’t care. Let’s just drop it I don’t want to think about him when I have the world's most gorgeous girl in front of me.”_ Nozomi seemed to falter at that one and she looked away blushing." _Jeez”_

Feeling triumphant I smirked and thanked the waiter for the bill as he dropped the paper down in front of me. We went up to pay and exited looking around at all the people doing errands. I grabbed her hand and walked through the people careful not to bump anyone. Nozomi held on and trotted after me letting me take us down the busy roads.I turned and took us over a small bridge that lead to a large grass clearing. The sun was starting to set and it was painting the water near by bright orange and pink and casting a warm glow across our faces.

 

 _“Did you really bring me to watch a sunset? How cliche is that.”_ Nozomi laughed looking over at me. I kept my eyes on the slowly disappearing sun smiling. I shook my head finally turning to her.

 

 _“I actually wanted to look at the stars with you.”_ Her eyes widened and I could still see traces of pink from the sunset mixing in with green but it was starting to disappear. She lightly pushed me and looked to the side.  _“That’s even more cliche!”_

 I laughed and lead her further into the clearing, we walked until you could see nothing but grass and hills.I took off my jacket and laid it down for Nozomi to sit on but she shook her head.

 _“Don’t be silly I don't mind sitting on the ground, it’s getting chilly, don’t want you to get sick”_ I shrugged and put it back on plopping down onto the surprisingly still warm ground. Nozomi sat beside me and leaned on my shoulder looking up. The stars just started coming out and I could still see her in the moonlight. Not knowing what to expect from this area never having come here, we were pleasantly surprised to see that fireflies had started to pop up all around us.

 

 _“Now it’s really cliche huh?”_ I laughed wrapping my arm around her. I didn't get a response and looked down at her.My eyes met hers and I could see all the different lights twinkling there.

 

 _“I love it”_ She breathed out and I felt my heart swell.I nodded and hugged her tighter.

 

_“I love you, Nozomi.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so sappy and dramatic but I love it sue me okay <3 
> 
> EDIT yeah I'm sorry my grammer and spelling is so bad....I kinda just write it and post it without reading it but I'll try and fix that stuff up. I did it for this one it should make a little more sense now haha


	9. What do I do?

I don’t recall ever feeling that way in my life. As with anyone admitting you're in love can be difficult. You feel as if things may be too good to be true or maybe scared of rejection. I felt many things when those words left my mouth.  Nozomi stayed silent for a moment, us both basking in the implications of my words. I watched as thick tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, glossy orbs that shone in the dim light. Her eyes could guide anyone out of the dark, but they were here to guide me alone, and alone I have been for so long before them.

 

 _“Do you really mean that Elichi?”_ she placed her hand onto mine and searched my face making be feel on edge but safe all at once. I knew what I felt was real but words alone could not express how I felt for this beautiful human. I nodded and pulled her face close to mine and let spill out what I had been shoving away.

 

_“I’m so scared Nozomi, but I won’t run anymore. I want to make you happy, to watch as you take on the world.Not only that I want to be the one to take it on with you, I want us to stand together and overcome anything and I want to be with you in every sense. To hug you and kiss you, touch you and feel you all around me until all I know is you. I don’t know why I let fear control me for so long but for the first time in my life I’m going to embrace whatever this is and I just want us both to share the feeling until the end, and even after.”_

 

I took a deep breath feeling a weight lifted after letting out my feelings.I stole a glance at Nozomi who was looking up at the sky with a goofy smile on her face. I chuckled and leaned in closer to look up with her.

 _“What’s so interesting up there?”_ I said nudging her, getting a playful smack.Nozomi shook her head and connected eyes with me.

 

 _“I’m just wondering what I did to become so lucky, I’m not usually gifted with anything to do with human relationships, It’s strange to have someone giving someone like me attention is all.”_ Nozomi gave me her signature sweat smile that melted hearts, but I felt defensiveness come over me.

 

 _“Someone like you?”_ I scrunched up my nose giving her a fake annoyed look but she shook her head and got up offering me her hand. I took it and looked once more at the stairs before following close behind her. The air had gotten cold and I could feel it biting at my face.

 

 _“Yeah you know weird and uh weird looking…”_  Nozomi walked faster trying to hide her face from me but I quickly caught up to her grabbing her arm. We kept walking but I held her hand and tried to catch her eye.

 _“You may be a little weird yes but that's part of your charm, weird looking though? If by weird you me goddess like beauty that no mortal woman could ever reach then yes you are the weirdest of them all.”_ That statement earned me an embarrassed scoff and the purple haired girl kept leading us through the grass, I smiled knowing I was flustering her and decided to press her further.

 

 _“Why do you think that though, you must know how pretty you are Nozomi.”_ I said lowly, you would have to be as close as she was to hear me. I almost thought she had not heard me because she stayed silent for some time simply walking a few steps ahead me.

 

We made it back into town, by now many of the people had gone in and It was us walking on the quiet streets while vendors and shop owners closed up. We had made it to Nozomi’s apartment pretty fast without the day time traffic and she stopped, muttering quietly.

 

 _“I had always grown faster than all of the other girls I noticed and my hair is so thick and unruly. Plus my eyes-”_ I quickly walked in front of her silencing her with my lips. I watched her eyes widen and she relaxed. I stepped back placing my hand on her shoulder smiling.

 

 _“ Your bigger in all the right places if you hadn't noticed, your hair is so soft and I love the way it shines in the sunlight. As for your eyes, I find myself at a loss for words sometimes, no other color could compare to them.”_ Nozomi’s face quickly took on a deep red color and she looked away puffing out her cheeks. Shoving me away lightly she kicked at the dirt under her shoes.

 

 _“Jeez, Elichi is so honest today. It’s almost like you want something from me. Well to bad flattery won’t get you anywhere.”_ I laughed at that and shook my head looking up at the sky. Like I wanted something from her? No I just finally felt like I could fully express how I felt without holding myself back. Nozomi sighed and pulled me into a hug resting her cheek against mine.

 

 _“ Well that’s good because if you were to invite me to stay the night again I definitely wouldn’t let you continue what we were doing last night or anything.”_  Nozomi had murmured into my now heating up ear.My eyes widened at her suggestion and I pulled away slightly.

 

 _“W-wait really?”_ I stammered out feeling my confidence leaving me at her implications. Both of our faces turned redder than before and she laughed nervously.

 

 _“See you later Elichi, Have fun with all your work!”_ Nozomi turned and almost sprinted to her door before I could react. I reached out to the now closing door a look of defeat coming over me. **Well I guess I deserve that.**

 

By that time my parents had made their way back home and were lounging in the family room. I walked past bidding them good night but was stopped.My mother had addressed me and I inwardly sighed walking into the room.

 

 _“How was your day today, Where is Nozomi?”_ I visibly grimaced but quickly neutralized my expression hoping she didn't pick up on it. Standing awkwardly in the doorway I noticed a large stack of papers laid out on the coffee table, mother and father seemed to be going over important business issues and I wanted nothing more to get out of the conversation I knew was coming.

 

 _“I just walked her home, what's with all the papers?”_  I said gesturing at the pile.

 

 _“Oh just preparations for the future, better to get them sorted early. Oh she didn’t want to stay another night?”_ She looked at me concerned when I let out a small noise. The future, something I didn’t want to think about. I knew I had to tell them, but I can’t not right now.

 

 _“I have a lot of work to finish and she wasn’t feeling well, excuse me I’m headed to do that.”_ I only half lied making me feel slightly better.My mother nodded and went back to the papers in front of her.

 

I turned quickly not even bothering to get changed before flopping down on my bed as soon as I entered my room. I rolled around letting out a frustrated noise into my pillow which I now realized smelled like Nozomi still. I felt myself slowly calming down and smiling holding the pillow tighter.

 

I looked over at the neglected work on my desk and hefted my body up and onto the chair. I set to work reorganizing them all and starting. I was thankfully able to finish well into the night and rubbed my sleepy eyes reaching for my phone. **_2:43 AM._ ** I stretched and opened the phone up, I seen I had a few emails and texts. The emails were spam and I deleted them annoyed not even bothering to open them thinking the ****HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA**** Didn't look in the least bit alluring. The texts were from Alsia and Nozomi, I decided to open my sisters first.

 

 **_“Hey Onee chan! I miss you lol anywho guess what!? Yukiho’s onee chan is going to be attending Otonokizaka Next week!”_ **

 

I smiled at my sister enthusiasm with almost anything. Trying to remember the young Orange haired girl from our youth. We hadn't seen each other In some time after I started to distance myself from people. Shooting her a quick reply I went to opening the next text which I was definitely more excited for.

 

 **_“_ ** **_(_ ** **╥﹏╥)** **_......”_ **

 

**_“Elichi….”_ **

 

**_“I-I….”_ **

 

I noticed the next message was a picture and my heart sank not knowing what to expect. I clutched my shirt and looked at the door, double checking to make sure it was closed. I hovered a shaking thumb over the download button willing myself to do it.The Picture downloaded and opened and I felt a wave of disappointment wash over me. It was a stack similar to mine and a large mug of dark liquid.

 

**_“I need help with my homework”_ **

 

Sighing I went to respond, **I don't know what I was expecting, no need to feel disappointed.**

 

**_“Well I would help you but I’m pretty tired from finishing my own, unless there is some kind of payment for my services”_ **

 

I hit send not even expecting a response, thinking she was already in bed but not even a minute later I received a message. I opened it and blanched after a picture message flew in.

 

 **_“Oh I’ll pay in advance actually_ ** **♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡** **_”_ **

 

I didn’t have to open the picture to know it was something that was going to make my head explode, but I opened it anyway. My wide eyes were met with dimly lit room. From what I could see Nozomi wasn't on her bed this time but leaning over her desk resting her chest there and looking right into the camera. My eyes scanned the picture noticing her free hand pushing up thigh and her gown going with it,  just barely covering her bottom half. My face immediately lit up and I had to clutch my nose tightly. I wasn’t given a chance to relax because two more pictures came in and I slammed the download button so hard fearing I might have cracked my screen.

 

Nozomi had shifted positions and her legs were spread slightly, she was holding the gown down onto the chair covering herself. I looked up to see her chest was being squished against that arm  and almost spilling out. Not wanting to rip my eyes from the picture I reluctantly downloaded the next and almost screamed seeing just the the top half of her now close up but far enough for me to see she had taken the gown off. Her bare shoulders were an indicator of that but the look she gave the camera sent violent shivers down my spine. She had her red lips caught between her teeth and an almost pleading look in her eyes. I couldn't take it anymore and closed out the texting app.

 

Breathing heavy I threw the phone down and rushed to the bathroom. **Just what in the hell was that?** I shakily gripped the sink faucet and splashed cold water on my face. I could feel my heart thumping in my chest and I looked up at my reflection.My face was unbelievably red and my eyes had dilated. No way in hell I would ever tell Nozomi though. Finally calming down I walked back to my room sitting down on my bed and grabbing my phone. Nozomi had sent another text and I dared to open it.

 

**_“Hope your having fun~ Looks like you have to help me now that I already paid”_ **

 

Oh she definitely paid but not wanting to lose it again I typed out a reply and placed the phone on my desk to go to bed

 

**_“Hm? Did you, I don’t recall receiving anything. Anyway I’m headed to bed, night love. “_ **

I heard a few vibrations but ignored it and tried to sleep but only the image of my to hot of a girl friend swam through my mind.

 

I woke up feeling hot all over and had a pounding headache. Light shined through the curtains and I cursed trying to shield my eyes. I had planned on running when I got up but my body ached, telling me that was out of the question.I stumbled dizzy out of bed and grabbed my phone. It was already noon and I knew this day wasn’t going to be a productive one. I slid open the phone and opened the texts I had received before going to bed remembering what had happened, laughing I read Nozomi’s response.

 

**_“What?! Did I send them to someone else on accident?!?!? oh god no.”_ **

 

**_“Wow... Elichi no fair ╥﹏╥ ”_ **

 

I noticed  a new message from this morning something about I hate you but hope you slept well and text me when you wake up, I quickly responded before making my way downstairs. Alisa had come home today and was in the kitchen making lunch which triggered my empty stomach to protest. I walked next to her looking at the food longingly making her jump.

 

 _“Jeez onne chan don’t come in so silently! Here I made you some too, let’s eat together.”_ I thanked her and immediately dug in, laughing she grabbed her portion and sat down across from me.

 

 _“Mom and Dad gone again?”_ I asked between mouth fulls not caring how I looked around her. She nodded and picked at her food looking downcast. I swallowed and nudged her to look at me but she just put on a small smile and started to eat.

 

 _“They have been pretty busy lately huh, Is everything alright with you?”_ I asked her setting down my utensils, I wanted to make sure she knew she had my attention. It felt as though our relationship was getting distant as we both started to hang out with friends more.

 

 _“Y-yeah it’s just well I wish I could be as close with Yukiho as you and Nozomi are is all.”_ Alisa stared at her plate face slowly growing red and my eyes widened. **How much did she know?**

 

 _“You guys seem plenty close though, as close as Nozomi and I anyway. Things like that shouldn’t be rushed anyway as time goes on you will get closer.”_ I felt satisfied with my sisterly advice and started to eat again but almost choked after Alisa spoke again.

 

 _“No! I mean like hugging and kissing! You guys are so cute together I want that!”_ I stared at her in disbelief almost not believing what I was hearing. **How did she know, did she see us the other night In my room? No she wasn't even here.** My inner panic was interrupted when she spoke again.

 

 _“When Yukiho and I went shopping yesterday we seen you two together, I felt so happy knowing how much you care for her and you two looked so comfortable, I looked over at Yukiho and she looked shocked but kept walking like it didn’t happen. I’m worried she won’t like me in that way.”_ I stayed silent just staring at her, this can’t be happening. I had let my guard down and didn’t think who could have seen us. What if it had been someone we went to school with or worse my parent’s. Alisa had been saying something more about how she could bring it up to Yukiho but I excused myself and dashed up to my room. Heart pounding I called Nozomi not knowing why I was panicking so bad but I needed to hear her voice.

 

 _“Elichi! Morning sleepy head, are you going to come help me with-”_ I cut her off quickly sitting on my desk.

 

 _“Alsia saw us yesterday Nozomi, what if someone else did too what are we going to do?”_ I couldn't hear anything and was starting to get worried she was upset until I heard a soft giggle. Annoyed that she could be laughing at a time like this I questioned her.

 

 _“What do you mean what, so what If she saw? You really think she’s going to tell on us like we are little kids, and if anyone else seen I’m sure they enjoyed the show.”_ I scoffed and got ready to argue but she continued.

 _“Listen Elichi, you really need to calm down okay. I noticed you tend to freak out at the slightest inconvenience. I love everything about you, but this? That's something so trivial, you shouldn’t care if anyone sees us.”_ I sighed and held my pounding head realizing how sick I actually felt, I must have caught a cold last night.

  
_“Y-yeah I guess ...s-sorry”_ I tried to steady my breathing but I felt like the room was spinning and  all I remember was hearing Nozomi call out to me then it was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah I just really love texting Nozoeli :3 I hope this chapter is alright, I really want to dig deeper into Eli's insecurities, let me know what you think!


	10. First day

_“Ugh what the hell”_ I groaned holding my head in my hands. Everything hurt as I sat up feeling around for my phone to light up the complete darkness, I felt a large lump but realized it wasn't my phone but another body. I fell to the floor with a yelp backing away from the bed I had been on.

 

 _“Elichi?”_ I heard the voice call out in the darkness. I sighed a breath of relief recognizing the voice to be Nozomi. I felt my way around the room finding out it was my own.I stood up and found the light switch flicking it on, Nozomi sat up on my bed rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She looked over at me and smiled patting the space on my bed next to her.I sat down looking at her, she looked exhausted, hair messy in a side braid and she was wearing a light cream colored dress.

 

 _“What happened why are you here? Not that I mind..”_ Nozomi giggled and wrapped her arms around my arm snuggling into me. I smiled and looked out the window seeing how dark it had gotten and wondered what time it was.

 

 _“Well you called me and then passed out on the line, I rushed over and told Alisa what happened and she and I helped you into bed. Looks like someone has a slight fever. I didn’t want to leave you here alone so I stay, must have passed out myself.”_ Nozomi looked up at me concerned and I tried to push her off not wanting to get her sick but she clung to me harder.

 

 _“I see well thank you but Alisa is here I’m not alone, it would be bad if we both got sick so maybe you should-_ ” I started but was cut off by a knock on the door.Alisa slid it open and poked her head in slightly a huge blush on her cheeks.

 

 _“S-sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just heard a noise.”_ Alisa stammered backing out of the doorway quickly. Nozomi chuckled quietly at my now beat red face, I stood up fast and tried to call after my now retreating sister but felt light headed and collapsed back into Nozomi’s waiting arms. I sighed and leaned into her not having the energy to fight her teasing.

 

 _“Just relax okay I’ll take care of you, don’t want you to miss the first day back to school now do we?”_ Nozomi purred in my ear making my nerves relax. I nodded and layed back when she got up, she went over to my drawer sifting around looking for something.

 

 _“Uh Nozomi what are you..”_ At that moment Nozomi popped up grinning having found what she was looking for,she was holding a pair of sleep shorts and tank top and my face regained its burning sensation knowing where this was going.

 

 _“Good idea I'll go change”_ I went to sit up but Nozomi was already there, pushing me back down and shaking her head.

 

 _“No no, I can change you”_ She was already lifting up my shirt and I had no time to be ashamed and I just laid there trying hard not to look at her. I heard a light hum from Nozomi and felt the new top slid down, I lifted up to help her and turned my head slightly when I felt her tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I could see her eyes fixed on mine, she had a soft caring smile that melted my heart, I knew she wouldn’t ever do anything to make me uncomfortable and I thanked her for that. She held my gaze as she slipped my skirt off to replace it with my shorts. After lifting up to help, all my clothes were secure and I felt a lot more free and less hot.

 

 _“ See doesn’t that feel better? Wait here I’ll go get you something to drink.”_ Nozomi sprang up and practically skipped out of my room, I sighed but smiled really not knowing what I did to deserve such a wonderful girlfriend. I looked over and could see my phone still on the ground, I leaned down to grab it.

 

I opened it and read the time, **1:40 Am**. I felt so tired and seeing the time affected me even more. I threw the phone down onto the desk and snuggled into the blankets waiting for Nozomi to get back. I grabbed the pillow she used earlier and felt her sent envelope me. I started to get impatient wishing she was the pillow, when I heard the door slide open. I looked up to see Nozomi holding out a glass of water and her munching on what looked like a rice ball. I cocked an eyebrow and she just laughed holding it out to me, I shook my head and took a large gulp of water feeling relief for my scratchy throat.

 

 _“I didn’t raid your fridge don’t worry, Alisa was still up and offered me some knowing I skipped dinner.”_ Nozomi finished up her rice and reached over to grab my now empty glass that I was attempting to get up and take care of. She set the glass down on my desk and turned to me with a smirk, I wasn't expecting her to yank her shirt off and toss it in my face. I was slightly thankful it landed on my face  saving me from my embarrassment. By the time I got the offending object off my face she had already pulled on a pair of hip hugging shorts that frankly looked like they might bust at the thighs and a simple t shirt. I couldn't wrench my eyes away from the shorts and she laughed.

 

 _“Ah you noticed did you? These are yours you know, hope you don’t mind~”_ She teased walking over to turn off the light. Nozomi hopped into bed next to me pulling me down with her and I closed my eyes burying my face into her neck breathing deeply. Whatever sickness I felt washed away quickly and I drifted off to the feeling of Nozomi’s soft heart beat.

 

The next few days came and went faster than I expected, Nozomi helping me when she could. I got over my sickness quickly and found myself face to face with the front entrance of Otonokizaka. This was it, my second year as a highschooler. I felt a tad bit disappointed when I had gotten a text from Nozomi this morning telling me to go on ahead because she had an errand to run before classes. I certainly wasn't hopping to walk to school for the first time with her since becoming an item. I felt excitement over the thought of spending my second year in a real relationship, I had read about these sort of things in passing but what was I supposed to do about the formalities, Obviously I don't want to tell anyone, but how did Nozomi feel? I was ripped from my thoughts as the sound of loud running came from behind me. I turned to see an energetic orange haired girl sprinting and spinning around in excitement. Not far behind her two similar height girls wear running after her. One had a look of apprehension but happiness and the other looked downright annoyed.

 

 _“Honoka, watch where you’re running you might knock into someone!”_ The annoyed Blue haired girl caught up with Honoka and grabbed her arm barely being able to stop the vibrating girl. The orange haired girl laughed sheepishly and apologise.The third girl made her way over to them painting and beaming over at them.

 

 _“Lighten up Umi-chan. It’s our first day after all, this is so exciting!”_ The mousy haired girl lay a hand on Umi and smiled sweetly melting the stone expression she wore. Honoka nodded furiously in agreement.

 

 _“Kotori, you are way to easy on her, we need to hurry so we aren't late.”_ Umi stated dragging the two girls off with her trying to hide her now building excitement.

 

I watched on, a feeling I couldn't quite describe washing over me as I watched my underclassmen take off. **So that’s Honoka huh?** She hasn't changed at all. Hearing the warning bell I hurried to my first class.I knew I shared this class with Nozomi so I was looking forward to it. Sliding open the door I walked over to the seating arrangement and my face fell, I was all the way on the other side of the room from my girlfriend. I looked up and scanned the room seeing her already in her seat reading, she had not seemed to notice me yet so I walked over to her desk.I cleared my throat and waited to be addressed but she simply kept reading not paying me any mind. I frowned and went to say something but the last bell ran and the teacher walked in telling us all to take our seats. I shot her one last glance and she looked over at me sticking her tounge out. I huffed in annoyance but relieved she was just messing around and not actually ignoring me...maybe?

 

Classes went slowly and I felt my patience thinning as It seemed Nozomi was ghosting me all day. First she didn't want to walk with me to school and now she was completely disregarding me , the annoying part was is she would always shoot me these playful glances so I knew she noticed I was trying to get her attention.

 

I almost ran to the student council room after class knowing she couldn't avoid me there. On my way I ran face first into the same ball of energy I spotted this morning, Honoka Kousaka. Though this time she was alone. I fell backwards into a nearby wall trying to catch my balance, Honoka wasn't so lucky. With a startled noise she fell back on her bottom and her book bag flew open spilling the contents all over. I quickly apologized and bent down to help her pick it all up, she was still groaning and clutching her butt in pain.

 

 _“Awe jeez Umi chan was right...again. I’m the one who should be saying sorry I was just thinking about getting home and got lost. Then I realized I left my bag In the classroom, so then I forgot to zip it back up, wait Eli?! Eli Ayese is that you?”_  Honoka jumped to her feet pointing at me a wild shine in her eyes. I could barely keep up with what she was saying everything was going so fast I just nodded dumbly.

 

 _“I knew it, you haven't changed at all! Gorgeous as ever, Alisa talks about you constantly I was super excited hearing we were going to the same school, It’s been ages! Wait where's Nozomi Chan?”_ I felt My face heat up from the compliment but immediately my blood ran cold hearing that **Damnit Alisa!**

 

 _“W-what?”_ I stammered backing up and watching her smirk smuggly. She chuckled darkly but nothing about it was sinister.

 

 _“ Yeah you know your Girl-”_ I jumped to action silencing her with my hand before she could speak further. A few girls still left in the school watched us sending odd looks our way but continuing on. When they left I let her go watching her rub her face.

 

 _“Jeez Eli senpai I’m only joking, It’s almost as If Yukiho and Alisa were right_ ” I gave her a piercing look and she raised her hands backing up. I laughed and softened my gaze shaking my head.

 

 _“As fun as this is , I have work I need to do”_ I went to leave but Honoka grabbed my arm and tried to pull me in the opposite direction I needed to go. I planted my feet down and stopped her earning a pout.

 

 _“I wanted you to meet Umi chan and Kotori chan!”_ She looked like she might cry and I felt no remorse about wrenching my arm from her, only Nozomi’s puppy face effected me. Speaking of Nozomi I really hope she had not left yet.

 

 _“I apologize, but it will have to wait”_ Without looking back I rushed off.

 

I stopped in front of the familiar room feeling my pulse quicken. Nozomi should be on the other side then I can find out why she’s been messing with me all day. I took a deep breath and opened the door a bit harder than I anticipated and watched as said girl jumped at the loud noise.Nozomi sat with her back to the door and didn't turn when I entered, I knew she noticed I was here but it seemed she was still going to be ignoring me .Feeling the frustration of the day finally boil over I walked over to her and spun her around in her chair this seemed to get her attention and she gasped looking up at me. I leaned down and connected our lips, I didn’t feel her kiss me back right away and I opened my eyes and could see she was blushing furiously and clutching her skirt. This sent a wave of confidence through me and I deepened the kiss grabbing her face softly leaning her into me. Nozomi relaxed and kissed me back sighing on my lips as I pulled away slowly. We both stared at each other silently waiting for some kind of explanation but neither of us spoke. I coughed and walked around the desk to sit down.

 

 _“ Thanks for starting before me, looks like you organized all of this quite well.”_  I started to work on the pile but Nozomi had other plans. She stood up and walked over to me sitting next to me. All of this was reminding me of the heated tension between us just last year. I turned to her to see her cheeks pushed out and an annoyed look on her face, I tilted my head in confusion but she pulled me in for another kiss suddenly. My eyes widened as she pulled back looking to the side. I was really starting to wonder what the hell was going on, but she spoke finally.

 

 _“You really are unfair Elichi”_ She said folding her arms trying to look mad.

 

 _“I’m unfair? You ignored me all day!”_ I nearly shouted but remembered we were still in school and lowered my voice.

 

 _“I was trying to get your attention all day but you just blew me off,and I know you noticed so what gives?”_ I said, starting to feel like a spoiled child complaining about not getting attention. Nozomi giggled and smirked at me.

 

 _“Looks like my plan worked then!”_ I just looked at her still confused wondering when she would fill me in on her little game.

 

 _“You see, I knew you would be a shy little mouse about our relationship, so I thought if I pushed you just a bit you would show a little more initiative. Seems like it only slightly worked because you went right back to cold Elichi “_ She pouted after finishing, I couldn’t help laughing and pulling her over to me.

 

 _“If you wanted me to take the lead all you had to do was say so , you had me worried”_ I turned her face toward me and could see a light blush on her cheeks. **Oh.** I laughed again and poked her cheek.

 

 _“Stupid Elichi”_ Nozomi tried pushing me off her but I held on tighter kissing her all over her now bright red cheeks.

 

 _“E-eli shop it we are going to fall”_ Nozomi laughed as I started to tickle her sides lightly while still kissing her, I got caught up in the moment and started to kiss down her neck softly her heart was thumping under my lips and I bit down gently.I heard her breath in sharply and push into me slightly. I couldn’t stop myself from firmly running my hands up her sides to her back holding her closer to me.

 

I loud noise outside the door snapped us out of our little moment and I straightened up in my chair quickly almost knocking Nozomi over. I grabbed onto her arm helping her but let go standing up to check the noise out.I slammed the door open to reveal Honoka gripping her head laying on the floor in a heap with Kotori and Umi on top of her. They all looked thoroughly embarrassed and I already knew we had been caught. The three girls looked up noticing the door had opened and scrambled to their feet.

 

 _“Eli senpai! What a surprise I was coming to talk to the student council about club activities, Oh and this is Umi and Kotori chan!”_ I knew Honoka and the others were trying to act like nothing happened but it was written all over their faces, particularly Umi’s. I went to speak but felt a soft hand on my shoulder and looked over to see Nozomi had joined us.

 

 _“Look’s like you are in the right place, what is it that you want to ask us?”_ Honoka’s face went blank and looked from me to Nozomi piecing it all together and pointed up into the air inhaling deeply to speak but Umi cut her off.

 

 _“ So then you are part of the student council, how shameless.”_ She muttered the last bit under her breath but I still caught it, my face heating up.

 

 _“Well I am the vice president and Elichi is the president, so yes.”_ Nozomi answered sweetly. Umi blanched, Kotori and Honoka seemed awestruck.I addressed Honoka again feeling like this was going nowhere.

 

 _“What is it that you want?”_ I felt a coldness in my voice still being slightly embarrassed and winced slightly.

 

 _“Oh yeah, Umi and I want to join the kendo club!”_ Honoka clenched her fists, Umi just looked defeated, while Kotori was chatting with Nozomi excitedly. I started to explain the sign up process when I noticed how close Kotori and Nozomi were standing now.

 

 _“What a cute hairstyle I just love it! Oh you have to be the most adorable first year I have seen yet.”_ Nozomi complimented a now stuttering and red Kotori. I watched as Nozomi pushed two fingers in and out of Kotories side loop earning her a embarrassed squeak from the girl. I wasn’t paying much attention to my conversation now feeling a slight jealousy bubble in the pit of my stomach. Umi was asking me for the forms to sign up but Kotori ducked over to grab onto her arm hiding from Nozomi.

 

 _“Awe she’s shy too!”_ Nozomi snickered and took her place next to me again, I felt grateful for this but still confused why a simple joke had gotten that kind of reaction from me.

 

 _“Nozomi please don’t scare them it’s their first day”_ I shook my head watching the purple haired girl stick her tongue out and wink at the mousy haired girl. Kotori seemed to calm down a little and laugh nervously. I went to retrieve the forms sending the girls off. I could still hear them chatting loudly as they rounded the corner. I turned to the girl next to me frown plastered on my face. She still had a playful smile and pushed me lightly.

 

 _“Don’t look at me like that you know I was just messing around”_ I still frowned and entered the room getting ready to finally get some work done.I silently started, feeling Nozomi staring at me but I ignored her.

 

_“Elichi?”_

 

I continued my work feeling her press her chest onto my back but I stayed strong, two can play her game.

 

_“Eli~ come on, are you really jealous by some playful banter?”_

 

I still said nothing, being able to get through all this work with your busty girlfriend smushed onto you was something I had not prepared myself for, but I was surprisingly good at. Nozomi noticed I wouldn’t budge, upping her tactics, I  felt her start moving her chest up and down and I gripped my pencil tightly. **She is literally going to kill me one day.** I slammed my pencil down into the table causing her to yelp and let go of me. I turned around and grabbed her by the waist pushing her into the wall.

 

 _“We need to work Nozomi.”_ I seemed to really catch her off guard she stared at me silently, I took advantage of this and kissed her gently. I pulled back and whispered.

 

_“Of course I was jealous, you are mine, after all.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey more Muse members! I was excited to add these three finally, Nozomi knows how to push Eli's buttons huh? Jealous Eli is best Eli :b Hope you enjoy!


	11. Please

Things with Nozomi seemed to get more… what’s the right word, Intense? As the year took it’s time to unfold, my relationship with the purple haired angel didn’t. Nozomi seemed hell bent on making sure to mess with me whenever she could, now that she knew of my slight jealousy problem.It always ended up with us either bickering or in a fierce lip lock somewhere we really shouldn’t be.As much as I loved it and hated it I knew it was risky to be acting this way at school, not that Nozomi cared in the slightest. At some point I knew things were going to boil over, and I wouldn't be able to stop.That was much too embarrassing to admit to myself, let alone bring it up to her, but here I was forcing Nozomi’s back into the student council wall, for the hundredth time.

 

_ “I know you find it so entertaining to poke fun at me, but you know at some point your going to push me to far and I might not hold back.”  _ I exhaled close to her face, watching her take on a playful smirk as she looked to the side.That look, she always gave me that look, it was infuriating but so sexy. 

 

_ “And that would be terrible why?”  _  We both stared at each other not really feeling bold enough to delve into that conversation.I knew what she was getting at but if she wanted to mess with me I could mess with her too. 

 

_ “I never said terrible but you might not be prepared”  _ I leaned in, touching our noses together, the smirk never left her face and she had her eyes on my lips.I was starting to feel my nerves crumpling at the confidence she held but I didn't back down.  **She must think I’m bluffing.** I leaned in fully and kissed her slowly making sure to press my body to hers, that electricity when we touched always made me weak at the knees. Nozomi sighed into my mouth and wrapped her arms around my neck, running her hands up the back of my neck and into my hair. Pulling me into her further, I nearly lost my balance at all the sensations she was giving me, I hopped she couldn't feel how fast my heart was thumping against her chest which was now pressed tightly against mine. 

 

I pulled back to look at her, seeing the dark pink tink in her cheeks, I smirked this time knowing she was just as weak against me as I was her. Nozomi’s hands were trembling in my hair, she opened her eyes and bit her lip, staring deeply into me.I stared back placing a hand on her cheek, I ran my thumb over her now swollen bottom lip pressing my hips into hers slightly sharper than I meant to and Nozomi shivered visibly in my arms. 

 

_ “So your not prepared huh?” _ I chuckled, but stopped seeing the glint in her now dilated eyes. She snickered and leaned into my ear nibbling on it softly, I shuddered and placed my arm on the wall trying to steady myself.

 

_ “Silly Elichi, I’m plenty prepared.”  _ Nozomi whispered in my ear, the husky undertones really set my nerves on fire, I stilled and tried to control my breathing but I knew she was slowly winning.Thinking quick I slid my hand down to her chest and pressed firmly drawing a gasp from her lips watching her eyes slip closed again.

 

_ “Hm, that's not what your body is telling me”  _ I smirked down at her watching her face scrunch up and get even more red. I decided to go a step further feeling the power go to my head, I pulled my thumb across where I thought her nipple might be and her eyes shot open. The look of shock was quickly taken over by pleasure when I applied more pressure. Even through the thick fabric of her clothes I could slightly feel it hardening and my heart started to thump loudly in my ears, I knew my face was probably just as red as hers by now but I couldn't stop.I pulled back and pushed her blazer open, I gasped feeling her through the thin fabric of her dress shirt. Without the jacket in the way, My hands traveled all over her chest milking quiet little noises from her pouting lips, she started biting her knuckle trying to silence herself but she was watching my every move through heavily lidded eyes. I pulled back seeing her nipples poking through her shirt and bra and stared transfixed, now that I was here I had no idea what to do, but the burning in my body was telling me to kiss the beautiful girl in front of me all over.I started to feel sweat forming on my face and neck and went to unbutton my blazer as well, Nozomi dropped her hand and watched me her mouth hanging open as my jacket fell to the ground.The look she was giving me could be described as anything in between a ravinouse animal and embarrassed school girl, It made me feel downright exposed.Nozomi’s eyes shot up to mine and she licked her lips pulling me closer. 

 

_ “Have you caught on yet?”   _ Nozomi started kissing the small amount of exposed skin on my neck pulling me against her so I was pinning her again, I pushed my knee between her legs letting out a low mewl when she bit down under my ear.

 

_ “I bet you haven’t, I bet you still think I’m just a big ole meany for teasing you all the time”  _  I jumped when she ran her tongue along the bite she left and started to trail it up my earlobe.

 

_ “W-what do you-ah! What do you mean?”  _  I couldn't help stuttering Nozomi’s hands were getting bolder than before and I felt them running up and down my back, pulling my shirt from out of my skirt.When the shirt was free one of her soft hands made contact with my skin.I yelped and stared at her only to get a wink in response. Her constant teasing was really pushing at me, but as the minutes passed I got more and more embarrassed, everything had escalated so quickly and I could still slightly feel a power battle going on, but it was evident who was winning.

 

_ “Hm, so you haven't what a pity, it seems you have already given up . Maybe it's me who should be pinning you to the wall.”  _ Nozomi stilled her motions and I gave her a questioning look. We stared at each other for a few moments, I wanted to ask what she meant but one of our phones was buzzing on the floor. I ducked down grabbing at the discarded blazers and found it was her phone that was ringing, I handed it over and she looked confused. I hadn't looked at the caller id so I just shrugged and pulled my Jacket off of the floor. I heard her gasp lightly and answer the call softly. Not wanting to eavesdrop I started to collect the forgotten documents littering the tables, most of the work was done for the week and we could leave the rest for tomorrow. Shuffling past Nozomi who was starting to look more and more irritable, I sent her a worried expression which she just brushed off with putting her two fingers between her lips and winking. My cheeks heated and I turned away quickly finishing putting the folders in the correct spot.I caught bits and pieces of what she was saying from what it sounded like she was speaking with someone older, my thoughts went to her family.

 

_ “I didn't expect you guys to be here for that but to miss this...again?”  _ When I turned to her as her voice rose, she looked on the verge of tears just listening to the person on the other end.I watched her nod and whisper her understandings and hang up the phone.I felt a pang of worry watching her look down at her phone like that.I walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder making her jump, she must have forgotten I was in the room.

 

_ “Everything alright?” _ I asked tilting my head down to look at her face, Nozomi was trying to look away but I could see tears starting to fall out of her eyes.My stomach dropped and I pulled her closer to me lifting her face to mine. She lightly pushed me back and whipped her eyes off.

 

_ “Yeah It’s nothing, oh you picked everything up already. I’m going to head out if we are done here.” _ Nozomi pulled on her Jacket and picked up her school bag making for the door, but I slid in front of her. Her glassy green eyes meet mine and I could see her will breaking, we said nothing for a short while, just staring into each others eyes knowing that something was indeed wrong. I watched as a single tear fell down her cheek. Watching someone so beautiful hurt like this made my body ache and I stepped closer begging her with my eyes to let it out.

 

_ “That, that was my father. He canceled my parents trip for my birthday, again.”  _ I pulled her into my chest and held onto her stroking her hair as she trembled in my arms.I could tell she was holding back and rocked her back and forth.

 

_ “I-I know that it’s not a big deal or whatever but, I haven't seen them in two years and”  _ She paused clutching onto the front of my shirt, she was muffling her voice on my chest but I still caught the choked out words.

 

_ “I’m always alone on my birthday”  _ I squeezed her tighter and just let her get out what was probably pent up inside her for ages, I felt her pain through her words and really wanted nothing more than to take those feelings from her.I felt so selfish pushing others away from me now, all these years having admirers and my family always wanting to be at my side. When Nozomi silently pressed on, alone with no one to comfort her or for her to confide in. I knew I had to change that,Nozomi needs me as much as I need her and she needs to know how special she is. 

  
  


Nozomi’s Birthday was coming up tomorrow and we haven't talked about the phone call with her parents since that night.I still had the comments rolling around in my head from before the call.

**_“Hm, so you haven't what a pity, it seems you have already given up .”_ ** What did she mean by that, given up on what? I kept trying to find an opportunity to ask her but none came, she still seemed down about her parent’s and I wanted to make sure she wasn't feeling lonely when I could.

 

Shaking my head I slapped both of my cheeks, I was standing in my bathroom going over in my head what I was going to say when presenting Nozomi with her gift tomorrow. I had sent her a text earlier telling her to meet me at the park around midday. I was nervous about it all, but hopefully she would get the feelings I was trying to convey to her.I sighed and slipped my shirt off and got an idea knowing this might cheer her up a bit. I took a quick selfie captioning it “Getting ready for bed, can’t wait to see you tomorrow” I hit send and placed the phone down undressing all the way going to get in the tub, the phone almost immediately went off and I decided to check it one last time.

 

I gasped almost dropping the phone, I scrambled to keep it from slipping out of my trembling hands.I was staring into the bright green eyes of my girlfriend but my eyes quickly trailing downward, she was completely bare of clothing and not doing much to hide it either. I seemed like she had just gotten from the bath and was drying off.

 

_ “Oh how bold of you Elichi, don’t make me swoon to hard before our date”  _ I scoffed playfully at that, **Look who's talking.** I played it off and sent her a text before getting in the tub.

 

_ “Don’t worry you will be doing plenty of that tomorrow too.”  _

 

I woke up early the next day stretching and feeling refreshed ready to go on a morning jog. I turned over and opened my phone to see a text from my mother. Feeling slightly disappointed with no good morning text from Nozomi, I opened the message. 

 

_ “ Your father and I will be going out this weekend. I need you to stay home with Alisa, you can have Nozomi over just please don't leave your sister home alone, See you Monday.”  _ My eyes widened, this was going to ruin my whole idea for the day. I panicked lay back down trying to think of a way to fix this and I felt excitement but nervousness shoot through me. **Yeah that will definitely work.**

 

I sent Nozomi a change of plans apologizing and telling her I would see her later.I needed to go and get the necessary supplies to make this work out before Alisa woke up.Getting ready I took off to the store and by the time I returned home I had an hour left until Nozomi would be arriving.That gave me more than enough to set up the living room for her surprise. I had got Alisa to help me who eagerly agreed excited to have something to do.

 

_ “Wow Onee chan you really must like Nozomi to do all this for her” _ She giggled at my now red face. I grumbled and shooed her out of the now purple and silver decorated room. We had hung up sparkly streamers and purple balloons were floating up on the ceiling. We had pushed all of the furniture to the sides of the wall and laid out a giant mat. I knew how much Nozomi was into the supernatural but had never let her do a reading on me. I did my best to pick out a deck of tarot cards not knowing if they would work and had them placed in the center of the room.I looked around at our handy work and smiled, I hope she enjoys tonight. I had went out side to sit on my front porch and wait, I could see rain clouds over head and almost felt relieved my parents had ruined my plans, at least now the rain couldn't. I pulled out my phone scrolling through my email when I heard light steps coming up the drive, my breath caught in my throat watching Nozomi walk up to me. She had on a sleeveless frilly shirt that was light purple and form fitting tan pants, she also changed her scrunchies the green of them made her eyes pop against the grey skies. She was holding onto an umbrella as it had already started to lightly rain.She caught notice of me and smiled waving at me, this human was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on, I was convinced of it. 

 

_ “Wow you waited out in the rain for me, where you really that-” _ I cut her off springing to my feet and kissing her hard, she seemed startled and dropped her umbrella on the ground. She tried to protest but I deepened the kiss and she eventually melted in my arms and paid no mind to the rain soaking our clothes. I pulled back staring at her laughing, she looked confused but blushed and pushed me back slightly looking to the side.

 

_ “Jeez you couldn't wait till I was out of the rain now we are all wet!”  _ Nothing in her tone sounded angry though and I smiled pulling her into the house.I could hear light tapping as if someone was running up the stairs, I sighed making a mental note to ask Alisa not to tell anyone about the kiss.

 

_ “I’m sorry you just look gorgeous, couldn't hold back.”  _ That got me another playful shove, we took our shoes off and made our way further into the house where I lead Nozomi upstairs so we could dry off and change.I tried to make sure she didn't see into the living room as we passed by and ushered her up the stairs quickly. 

 

_ “Oh so impatient to get me upstairs and into bed are we, Is that my present?”  _ Nozomi chuckled watching me heat up and sputter trying to deny, she just placed a finger on my lips and took off to the bathroom to change.After we both threw our wet cloths into the dryer we made our way downstairs, both adorned in sleep wear it felt silly leading her into the dining room, but I pushed that aside and ran into the kitchen to grab the cake I picked out for her. It was almost identical to the chocolate cake she had brought over for our first dinner at my house, my sweet tooth was battling with my head at picking something she would like but my sweet tooth won.

 

“ _Looks like you picked that out for yourself Elichi”_ Nozomi giggled when I blushed lighting the candles for her. I turned the lights out and sat it down in front of her waiting for her to blow them out.She sat there smiling and I nudged her slightly.

 

_ “Aren't you going to sing for me?” _  She questioned, If possible my face got even more red and I nodded taking a deep breath giving in and singing the silly traditional song.I opened my eyes to see hers closed she was still smiling and I waited for her to blow out the candles but she didn't. 

 

_ “Aren't you going to make a wish?” _ I shot back at her playfully but she shook her head opening her eyes looking at me. I stared in confusion but she stood up and pulled me into a hug. I returned it and we stayed silent for a few moments.

 

_ “I have everything I could wish for right here.”  _ Nozomi said lowly to the room, She pulled away and I could just barely see her in the dim light of the candles but I could see her eyes shining, I never get tired of seeing them change with every different lighting. We both jumped when we heard a small cough at the door and turned to see Alisa standing there, she looked nervous and was looking to the side.   

 

_ “Can I have a piece of cake?”  _ Nozomi and I giggled and invited her in letting her blow out the candles watching her get excited and start to cut the cake. We had turned the lights back on and chatted while we ate, I noticed Nozomi staring at me every so often and I tried to play it off as nerves for what was coming next on her birthday agenda. Alisa had skipped off having felt satisfied with the cake and left Nozomi and I alone. I looked up to see her staring at me again but she looked away this time, I quirked an eyebrow but didn't say anything, deciding to ask her about it later.I stood up and outstretched my hand leading her into the living room and pushed her in lightly. I walked in and watched her eyes dart all over the room her face quickly lighting up as she realized what I had laid out for us.

 

_ “I hope this is okay, I know you like this sort of thing so I figured I would let you do it on me.”  _ Nozomi walked over to the cards running her hands along them and smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile. The cards were pretty simple they had a blue pattern on the back of them, I wasn’t even sure if they were the same as the ones she usually carried with her, but she seemed to love them. I watched her look them over and start shuffling them quickly.

 

_ “They are beautiful Elichi, This deck is much bigger than the one I have.”  _ Happy with my choice I smiled and sat down across from her on the floor. I wasn't sure how all of this worked so I just stayed quiet waiting for her to take the lead. 

 

_ “Would you like me to do a reading for you?”  _ Nozomi had a mischievous hint in her voice and it slightly scared me, but I nodded and watched her start to lay the cards out face down, she flipped them over It started with the card Strength, she explained each card meaning after flipping it up, they all had one theme I started to notice and that was change and courage. Her hand lingered over the last card. I could see her cheeks were red and her hand slightly shaking. I wondered what was going through her head watching her flip the last card. It read The Lovers, my heart sank. Nozomi let out a strangled sigh and my eyes shot to her, she was staring at me and the silence was heavy.

 

_ “So uhm, what does all this mean exactly?”  _ I stared down at all the cards trying to piece it all together from the descriptions she gave me but I was still feeling rather confused. 

 

_ “Well, it seems as though you are feeling not so confident in what you want to accomplish and need a push to achieve it, but who knows this could be false”  _ I noticed she was darting her eyes around the room avoiding eye contact with me.I figured now was as good a time as any to bring up the questions in my head.

 

_ “Since when do you doubt the cards?” _ I crawled over to her side of the mat and watched her visibly panic, I stopped and felt slightly worried.

 

_ “Say Nozomi, what did you mean the other day when you said I had given up?”  _ Her eyes finally connected with mine and she looked like she might burst, but it only pushed me on further.

 

_ “Also you have been eyeing me all night what’s with that, do I look funny?”  _ She shook her head violently and clutched at her lap, I could see her fidgeting slightly.I slid over to her and grabbed her hand, this seemed to calm her down a little but she still looked nervous. It was odd seeing her like this.

 

_ “Don’t make me say it”  _ Nozomi whispered looking down, I felt even more confused than before and showed it in my face. I stayed silent and she sighed loudly looking up at the ceiling. 

 

_ “God Eli you can be so dense sometimes, the teasing, the looks, the cards! They all point to one thing.”  _ She turned to me blushing hard, things were starting to click slowly but I wasn't quite there. Nozomi leaned in closer and grabbed my hand placing it on her chest, she moaned softly and I felt her heart racing under my palm.

 

_ “Don’t you get it now? I want you Eli, I need you. I keep pushing your buttons in hopes that you will take the lead and take me as yours. I was just too scared to admit it,so please.”   _ I was leaning closer to her with every word she spoke, I understood what she wanted, I also wanted. Our hearts were connecting in the silence and I could hardly think but I knew I wanted her so much.

 

_ “Please…” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how long I took, things have been pretty bleh lately. I hope this is okay! Also I don't know much about tarot card readings so if I butchered that I apologize.


	12. Overflowing

This was it wasnt it? The moment in ones relationship when two hearts finally connect. I could definitely feel everything as it was happening, our eyes burning into one another the closer I got to her. This wasn't like any other kiss we have ever shared, it had implications of months of pent up feelings.Was this when we finally take things further? I tried to think clearly to make that decision but at some point my body took control for me. Our lips connected softer than I had expected as I grabbed her her neck leading her impossibly close to me. Nozomi’s whole body was shaking slightly and I pulled her onto my lap, my other arm wrapping around her hips. Our lips parted and I slipped my tongue into her mouth testing her,when my tongue started to rub hers she moaned louder than I think she meant to because both our eyes opened and she blushed looking away, she disconnected our lips and looked down panting.

 

_ “S-sorry” _ She breathed out running her hand through her hair, I shook my head and pulled her into a tighter hug.Releasing we probably shouldn’t be doing this in the living room,I nudged her to get up. Nozomi stumbled to her feet and looked at me confused. I simply pulled her by the hand upstairs and to my room.When we got to my door I let her go in first, she walked in and sat nervously on the edge of my bed which made me feel jittery all over.The reality of the situation was starting to set in, but seeing her waiting patiently for me,  gave me all the confidence I needed to shut and lock my door.

 

Nozomi noticed me lock the door and I watched her cheeks get impossibly more red.She laughed nervously as I sat next to her placing my hand on her thigh.

 

_ “S-so we are actually doing this huh?”  _ She said, I watched her grip my blanket , her eyes sliding up and down my body.I tilted my head and rubbed her leg slowly trying to ease hers and my nerves.

 

_ “That’s what you want right?”  _ Her eyes meet me and she nodded placing her hand on mine, she guided it up her thigh slowly and both of us held our breath. 

 

_ “Yeah I’m just really...”  _ She stopped watching me as I placed my other hand on the bed next to her leaning into her.I started to kiss her neck and ear, I felt a jolt of heat when she moaned softly and arched into me.

 

_ “I-I’’m really scared Eli.”  _ I stopped my movement and looked up at her, I could see small tears forming in her eyes.I pulled her face to mine, pressing a kiss to the corners of her eyes drying the tears,I could feel her cheeks were burning.

 

_ “Don’t worry we can go slow, I’m scared too but I love you so much. I want to show you just how much.”  _ I tried to reassure her but she still looked close to tears. I pulled her body on top of mine and we fell back onto the bed. I could feel both of our heart beats thumping against each other.Burying my face in her neck I inhaled deeply, sighing and breathing in the faint flowery scent that usually clung to Nozomi. I started to run my hands up the dips in her sides and to her back. I felt her shiver on top of me and hold me tighter. Nozomi had turned her head and opened up her neck to me more, I leaned in and placed an open mouth kiss on her pulse point,I could hear her breathing quicken and I sucked on the spot waiting for her reaction. I heard a shaky breath and her push down on me, I started to suck harder clutching at her shirt and pushing my hips right up to meet hers.We both gasped feeling a shock of pleasure at the friction we got from moving our hips. I bit down ripping a quiet moan from Nozomi and she started moving her body a bit faster, her hands had made there way into my hair and she was lightly tugging on it making me bit my lip and grab onto her hips.At this point I felt my nightgown riding up, I knew she would feel the heat coming from me down there and I blushed. Nozomi lifted her head and I could see how clouded her eyes were, Her hair had fallen out of her scrunchies and was cascading down her shoulders and chest tickling my face. I pushed my knee between her leg and pushed her down onto it, her face scrunched up as she closed her eyes and whined softly.

 

_ “Eli”  _

 

My breath caught in my throat, Nozomi was the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I gripped her harder, both of our knees were tucked between the others leg,it was made it easier to gain more friction.I ran one of my hands up her side and to her chest rubbing her softly, I felt her nipple was hard under my fingers and I wanted nothing more than to feel them directly.Nozomi was panting and moving her hips pushing our legs closer together, I watched her closely, she reacted to every touch and I felt myself getting hotter by the second. 

 

_ “Nozomi, can I?....”   _ I pushed my hand under her shirt running it up her smooth belly feeling her muscles tense up there.She had sat up slightly giving me room to push up her shirt fully. My eyes widened seeing her chest spring out, she was wearing a black and lavender bra that clung to her in all the right spots.I pushed my hands up over the thin fabric, my thumbs ran over her nipples watching her arch her back, I felt her knee rub me sharply and I let a low moan escape me.

 

_ “Y-yeah, I just….touch me more, please.”  _ Nozomi stammered out looking to the side blushing, I felt my body ignite hearing those words.I ran my hands along her chest squeezing softly then going to her back,I unhooked her bra letting it fall down. Nozomi looked like she wanted to hide but she kept her arms down and searched my eyes for judgment but she found non there.I leaned up holding her close to me moving her into a straddling position on my lap. I connected our lips and pushed her down onto her back, she landed softly looking up at me with pleading eyes. My hips were placed between hers and she wrapped her legs around me, our bodies had no space now and I rocked my self into her harder than before. Nozomi bit my lip and tugged on my hair again sending me into a frenzy, all traces of nervousness had left me and I slid my hand between us and into her panties. I was surprised at how wet she was but figured I couldn't be much better, my fingers gently started to stroke her while she let out soft moans on my lips.

_ “A-ah that’s….”   _ Nozomi’s sentence cut off when my fingers went down further and pushed into her slightly. I opened my eyes seeking guidance, she nodded and pulled me down to kiss her again.I pushed two fingers into her hot entrance slowly and my hips went with them. Nozomi moaned into my mouth and pushed her hips up to meet mine.Feeling white hot desire come over me I started to rock back and forth harder making sure to push my fingers in deeper with every thrust. My heart was beating so fast hearing the wet noises coming from below us mixed with our heavy breathing. Nozomi disconnected our lips and buried her face in my neck biting down hard.I gasped and started to go harder earning me a long moan from Nozomi, I could feel her starting to tense up around my finders and her quickened breathing indicated that she was getting closer to falling over the edge.I felt like I could burst just from watching her, she had her eyes closed tightly, her mouth was open slightly her swollen red lips waiting for me to claim them once again. I held off not wanting my eyes to leave her for a second, her moans were getting faster and higher as I pressed my thumb up against the sensitive bundle between her legs.

 

_ “Eli”  _

 

Nozomi moaned again opening her eyes, they were so glossy I could see my own blue mixing in with her green, I bit my lip rubbing her harder. 

 

_ “Eli~”  _

 

I couldn't take it anymore, I felt my body shaking along with hers, we stared at each other, bodies melding together. I felt like everything around me disappeared and I fell completely into the heaven that was spilled out underneath me. Pleasure like nothing I have ever felt washed over me as we held each other gasping and riding out the waves of heat that overtook us. Through all of it I never looked away from her, I collapse half on top of her and half to the side, we just gazed at each other. Nothing was said, everything we needed to know shown in our eyes. 

 

**THUD THUD**

 

I moaned rolling over and pulling the blankets over my head.

 

**THUD THUD THUD**

 

I could hear the loud noise and two sets of people calling my name, one a hushed whisper and the other loud and angry.My eyes shot open and I lifted the blanket off of me I looked over and could see Nozomi scrambling to collect our clothes and she threw my nightgown at me while half way in her pants. The banging at the door got louder and I could hear my mother yelling at me to unlock the door, she didn’t sound to happy. I stumbled to the door while Nozomi sat down on my bed beat red, I hoped to the gods that my mother wouldn't notice the dark red mark on Nozomi’s neck.

 

Unlocking the door, I was met with a disgruntled mother and worried looking Alisa, I tried to play it cool but my mother's eyes shot to my explosive shoulder that I realized just started to sting.

 

_ “What happened to the living room? It’s a mess.”  _ I internally was screaming, of course we got distracted and forgot to clean.I looked at Alisa and she gave me an apologetic frown.My mother waited for my response and I felt my heart start to race trying to think of something to say to break the silence. All I could think about is if she noticed the bite mark on my shoulder and how I obviously looked like a mess.

 

_ “W-well-”  _  I could feel everyone's eyes on me even Nozomi’s who was behind me staying silent.Arisa broke the silence for me and I almost let out a sigh of relief.

 

_ “I was playing around and forgot to clean it up sorry, I wanted to tell you but…”  _ Alisa looked down and I was wondering what was wrong.It wasn't until I realized something must have happened in order to draw my mother back home early from a trip.

 

_ “But you decided you would sneak off with your friend.” _ Our mother looked extremely upset and my eyes widened looking at Alisa, her cheeks were red and she looked like she might be close to tears.

 

_ “Wait Mom, I was the one who messed up the living room you see-”  _ I tried to avert the attention to me but it ended up backfiring.When she turned to me and I felt my whole body stiffen. 

  
  


_ “What were you doing that you didn’t notice your sister leave?”  _  Her eyes went to my shoulder again and I tried to move my hair to hide it but I knew she already noticed it, she then looked past me at Nozomi who was still silent sitting on my bed.

 

_ “After you have picked up the living room I will see you in there. Please send Nozomi home, I need to talk to you two”  _ My mother then turned away and walked downstairs, Alisa started to cry and apologize but I just shook my head sending her off.I turned to Nozomi who had her head down as well, feeling my stomach drop I walked over to her. 

 

_ “I’m sorry I got you in trouble.”  _ I heard Nozomi mumble, I reached my hand out to place on her shoulder but she had got up quickly.I lowered my arm and looked at her sadly, this was starting to look like a bad day already. 

_ “It’s fine I have homework to do anyway so I was going to leave early.”  _ Her voice sounded distant like she was trying to hide herself from me but I knew better.

 

_ “You didn’t get me into trouble, she just wants to talk to us is all.”  _ I tried to place my hand on her shoulder again but she pulled away looking down and I felt rejection leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

 

_ “If I wasn't here then you could have properly looked after your sister, I was just meant to spend my birthday alone.”  _ I shook my head and walked in front of her line of sight, I went to say something but she cut me off.

  
  
  
  


_ “Could you get me my clothes please.”  _  I was shocked to say the least, after everything we did last night and all the feelings we shared here she was, blocking me out again.I didn’t want to upset her more and knew if I kept my mother waiting much longer there would be multiple people mad at me.I nodded and went to grab Nozomi’s clothes from the dryer, I stopped in front of the kitchen over hearing my mother talking to someone.

 

_ “Yes everything is fine here I should be able to head back in an hour or so,Alisa is fine, but what we talked about …. I think you were right. What did we do wrong, I thought maybe she was just a really good friend to Eli but….”  _

 

I didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation I already knew that my parents knew about Nozomi and I.My heart was racing as I fetched her clothes and ran up stairs. I stood outside my door and could hear light sobbing coming from inside. My stomach was twisting and turning.  **Why does everything have to go wrong, why now when we were so happy last night.** I opened the door and walked over to Nozomi handing her clothes over, I watched her try to hid the fact she was crying, I felt my heart aching. I wanted to comfort her but the fear of rejection and my mother seeing us and things getting worse held me rooted in my place. I turned letting her change and not knowing she was done until she walked past me to the door.

 

_ “Thanks for last night Elichi you really are to good to me, I’ll see you in school.”  _ She turned and walked out of my door and down the stairs. Aching all over, It hurt so bad and I didn’t know why. Was it because she left without a kiss or even a hug, no I love you, text you later? Everything felt so bitter, so unlike what I had imagined the day after to be. Deep down I knew, knew what was waiting for me downstairs and It scared the hell out of me.

 

Alisa had already picked the living room up, she seemed in a panic and wouldn't look at me when I entered. We sat on the couch and waited for our Mother to enter.

 

_ “Alisa what exactly happened last night? I thought you went to bed...?”   _ My sister finally looked over at me and she looked deeply regretful. I gave her a questioning look and she lowered her head.

 

_ “I’m really sorry I...I don't know why I did it but, seeing you and Nozomi like that. I just really wanted to tell Yukiho how I felt. She had invited me out but I knew Mom wanted us both to stay home this weekend and well...I heard some things coming from your room and I didn’t and to bug you so….I just left.”  _ My eyes slowly widened the longer I listened to her, I was starting to feel light headed. **I just keep messing everything up, I’m such a bad influence.**

 

_ “Okay, but that doesn't explain how Mom found out”  _ Alisa’s lip quivered and she looked like she was going to cry again, we jumped when we heard the door slid open loudly. Our mother walked in, she was sliding her cell phone into her pocket and she stood in front of us crossing her arms.

 

_ “I don’t like being this way with you two, but I think your father and I have given you a lot of freedom to do as you please because you have been responsible up until now. Alisa your behavior last night is inexcusable, you were told to stay home with Eli. Even if she was busy that doesn't mean you can just up and leave without telling any of us. What if you hadn't been able to call us in time what if that man took you or hurt you!” _

 

My eyes widened I looked from my mom to Alisa trying to get one of them to explain what happened but our Mother continued even more harshness in her voice.

 

_ “And Eli, I’m disappointed with you , I in trust Alisa’s safety in you. We expect you to carry the Ayese name on and If you can’t even watch your sister how do you think you will have kids one day?”  _ My eyes shot to my mothers and I felt bile rising up in my stomach. I could feel anger coming over me and I stood up.

 

_ “Maybe I don't want that responsibility! Did you ever think of that!?” _  I shouted as loud as I’ve ever yelled, I could hear my words echoing off the walls, in my ears and in my head. I was being honest with myself and with my mother for the first time and It felt...I don’t know how it felt.I had heard Alisa gasp and put her hand over her mouth, our Mother just stood there eyes wide staring at me. I still felt rage boiling over and couldn't hold back anymore.

 

_ “All this time you never once asked me how I felt, you guys are always pushing me to do greater and want me to carry on our family name.I tried, I tried to be the best I could, but for what? For money, or honor ,or or...acceptance…”  _  I stopped and dropped my hands to my sides, I could feel tears welling up. I wasn't supposed to be like this, I was going to marry that boy and I was going to be a good daughter, have kids and grow old happy knowing I served my family well.Now I’m standing in my living room with my distraught mother and guilty sister crying over...feelings.That’s when this all started, when I started to let myself feel, when she… looked at me.I smiled letting the tears stream down my face,  **Nozomi.** I looked up at my mother expecting to see hate, disgust, rejection, but I saw none of that. She looked… sad, like she was disappointed but not in me, In herself.

 

_ “I never knew Eli. You always seemed happy to do the best and be the best. I thought you wanted to do things this way.I noticed you changing when you meet that girl, your father and I discussed maybe you were having a phase of sorts. You never showed an interest in anything like friends so we thought this might have been just something new for you.”  _ My mother finished and looked at me with a sad smile and I just laughed.

 

_ “How could I tell you, you all put me up so high that if I ever slipped up I was afraid I wouldn't have anything else, but that was until I meet Nozomi. She taught me more than school or teachers or even you guys ever will. I can finally look myself in the eye and be honest with myself and my feelings. That it's okay to mess up and she’s not just my friend, she's my girlfriend. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, whether you and Dad like it or not.”  _ I clenched my fists and held my ground watching my mother's face twist up slightly, not used to me speaking to her this way she laughed lightly.

 

_ “You are seventeen Eli, how do you know what's going to be good for you in the future, you haven't lived in the real world yet, you don't know  how cruel it can be-”  _ The anger from years and years of holding back and not standing up to my parents finally seeped out hearing her laugh at me like I was some naive little school girl. 

 

_ “I don’t care! I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks anymore. I want to be happy for onse, I’m never going back to the way I was. If that means you And dad disowning me than so be it,I love her and that’s all that matters. “  _ I didn’t wait to see my Mom or Alisa’s reaction I ran upstairs throwing on the first presentable thing I could see and grabbed my phone. I ran downstairs only to be stopped at the door by my Mother. She grabbed my arm and whispered lowly.

 

_ “If you leave right now, don’t come back.”  _ I yanked my arm from her and threw my shoes on.We shared one last look.

 

_ “Don’t worry I don’t plan on it” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, this was pretty hard. I didn't want to screw up Eli and her Mother talking about Eli's feeling's so I hope I got that out okay. Hope you enjoy, as always feel free to leave me constructive criticism,willing to improve wherever I can.


	13. Nozomi and her big comfy bed

Burning, just... burning. I didn't really know what was at the moment, I just knew it hurt. I kept running, running from my parents, my feelings and ...life. I thought this was over with, I thought I was done being a coward.  **Doesn't look that way huh?**

 

Stopping to catch my breath, I bent over gasping, I could feel the tears I held in the whole run stinging my eyes and falling down onto the ground I stared at. After finally feeling like I was fully accepted, I’m back at square one, alone.I had just confirmed my parents disowning me, having my mother's words echoing in my mind,  _ Don’t come back.  _ I didn't want to go back, not if they couldn’t accept how I truly felt.My heart clenched thinking about Nozomi, what would she think of my actions? She seemed unusually distant before she left, what if she was also done with me? I shook my head and started walking,trying to control my emotions. Frustration bubbled up inside of me, why the hell did I have to feel like this, why can't I just shut it all out like I used too. 

 

I looked around me noticing the bright lights realising I was in the shopping district, I didn't have any money on me only my clothes and phone. I sat down at a nearby bench looking down at my blank screen. I wanted to call Nozomi, just to hear her comforting voice but I slid it into my pocket and looked straight ahead of me. I’ll be fine, I was alone before I can be now. I watched old and young short and tall people pass me by, some were with their family, others with a lover. I was odd just watching so many people pass, knowing I will never see them again, but thinking about the fact you just happen upon certain people by chance. What draws them to you? When there are so many others around us. It’s crazy to think, one thing could bond you too one special person, then the rest become a blur until you stop to look at them as I am now. So what drew me to Nozomi, how did someone so different but similar just happen to brush into my path. 

 

I continued to ponder humans and relationships, not really paying attention to my surroundings anymore, I could faintly hear someone speaking to me but it took me a few moments to snap out of my head.

 

_ “Eli-senpai?Odd seeing you alone, I figured you would be hanging with Nozomi, hue hue.”   _

Blue eyes meet another pair of dazzling blue, Honoka was standing right in front of me sporting a large shopping bag that seemed to be full of different types of package papers and small boxes.

 

_ “Honoka-chan Ah yeah, no I am alone. Just felt like a walk is all, What brings you to this side of town?”  _ My eyes went back to the bag when she lifted it and beamed at me, she plopped down next to me and patted the bag looking over. 

 

_ “It’s been super busy at the shop so Mom had me run and get extra packaging till our next shipment comes in, she promised me extra dessert so I thought hey why not right? Is everything okay?, you looked really out of it just now.” _ I nodded and looked forward again my eyes landing on a young couple fretting over their child's coat, he was trying to pull it off but they tried desperately to explain to him he would catches a cold without it.

_ “Yeah...well, I’m not to sure to be honest.Can I ask you something?”  _  I looked over at her curious eyes, she was giving me her whole attention and I felt slightly intimidated. Looking back to where the couple stood I took a shaky breath.

 

_ “If you ever happened to be unsure of a decision, how would you go about figuring it out?”  _ I could see her confused expression in the corner of my eye and pressed on.

 

_ “Like , someone cares about you deeply and you would do anything to make them happy, but something inside of yourself is holding you back, whether it be because of your own feelings or because of the influence of something else.”  _

 

Honoka hummed and scratched her chin thinking for a moment but she seemed to come to a conclusion rather fast and jumped up quickly grabbing my hand. Slightly shocked I looked up at her sparkling eyes.

 

_ “Easy, If it’s something you want, you just need to do it no matter what!”  _ Honoka puffed out her chest and smiled, I didn’t get it….  

 

_ “But what if-”   _ Honoka yanked me up and started jogging with me, I had no idea what she was doing nor did I know what came over me to follow her but I smiled and ran with her. We kept going laughing and almost bumping into people as we went. By the time we stopped I couldn't feel my legs and could barely breathe. We both doubled over panting and laughing breathlesly.  

 

_ “Ha- why...why did we do that?”  _ I gasped looking over at the chuckling girl next to me. She stretched and placed a hand on my shoulder and was looking up. I followed her eyes and my stomach dropped, we were right in front of Nozomi’s apartment building. 

 

_ “Because we wanted too”  _ With a light shove I felt Honoka nudging me forward I turned to her mouth hanging open.

 

_ “But how did you-” _ Honoka stuck out her tongue pushing me closer to the door. __

 

_ “Go talk to her before she thinks you hate her or something like that. I’m not to good with these things I usually just ask Kotori what to do when Umi is super mad at me.”  _ Not saying anything else Honoka took off almost as if she wasn't just running for ten mins. I gulped and entered the building, It felt strangely chilly and I wrapped my arms around myself starting to walk up the stairs. When I reached her door I just stared at it, what now… what if she slams the door in my face. Honoka's words came to me and I shook my head, no way in hell am I turning back now.

 

I reach forward and knocked quietly waiting for a reply, It was a few moments before I heard movement from inside. My heart started to thrum wildly and I clutched at the sides of my shirt. What I wasn't expecting was for my eyes to lower at the short girl who answered the door. Nico was standing in the doorway looking slightly annoyed and almost like she was about to slam the door in my face. I heard a soft voice call from inside.

 

_ “Nicochi who is it?” _ Nozomi’s voice tingled my ears and I couldn't help smile but it was quickly replaced with a look of desperation as Nico tried to close the door on me.

 

_ “Oh no one, must have been a prank”  _ The door was almost closed when I shoved my foot in the way, Nico grunted and tried closing it harder but I started to push my way inside. With a look of panic Nico shoved me back and she came out with me closing the door quietly.

 

_ “Look, she’s really upset right now, your the last person who needs to be here.”  _ I gulped, Nico could be slightly intimidating...even at her size. I stood my ground and clenched my fists tightly,  **_If it’s something you want do it no matter what!_ **

 

_ “I need to talk to her Nico, I know we started off rocky and I really I appreciate everything you do for Nozomi but I really think this is between her and I”  _ Nico stared at me and let out a humph.

 

_ “I don’t do it for your appreciation Ayse, but thanks… She really likes you ya block head, don’t screw it up.”  _ I laughed lightly and nodded, Nico stroud past me and I looked at her confused.

 

_ “What I’m not sticking around to hear your gross makeup, just make her smile again alright, tears don't suit her.”  _ I felt my body run cold, so she was crying again. I watched Nico walk down the hall and too the stairs till she was out of sight. Turning back to the door I reached out with a shaky hand and opened the door. I closed it quickly and took my shoes off walking into the kitchen and looking over to see Nozomi sitting at the table holding a tea. Our eyes connected and she looked surprised, I felt so many things rushing through me and it kept me rooted in my spot. She recovered quickly and stood up walking past me to the kitchen. 

 

_ “Would you like some tea?”  _ Nozomi was already grabbing for a cup when I flew into her, the impact startled her and she gasped as my arms locked around her waist.I wanted to tell her everything, how I loved her and never wanted to let her go. How me and my mother had fought and I ran away from my problems again, but I pulled her as close as I could and buried my face into the back of her neck letting my tears out. We said nothing and she let me hold onto her, after a little while I felt her arms lay themselves across my  arms and she squeezed my hand.

 

_ “Jeez Eli, you missed me that much.”  _ I could hear a hint of sadness in her voice, she must know something else was wrong. I didn't say anything I just held onto her tighter pushing her into the counter. I felt her backside press into my front and I shivered realizing my lips were on her exposed neck, I pressed them onto the now wet spot, it tasted salty from my tears.Nozomi’s hand grasped mine tighter and I pressed into her even harder, her breaths were getting louder and I continued to kiss her neck.I wanted to feel her more, to kiss her and just lost myself in her forever, I gave into those desires and released one of my arms from her turning her head towards me. We stared at each others clouded over eyes, I didn't know who looked more needy but I wasn't waiting anymore.

 

I pressed my lips to hers,giving her an open mouthed kiss which she returned with fire. My insides felt like they were melting when our tongues wrapped around each other. I let out a light moan when Nozomi pushed her backside harder into my crotch and started moving it.I think we both knew where this was going but we didn't want to move to a more comfy spot, to lost in eachother to care. I disconnected our lips, that earned me a whine from her but it was quickly replaced with a gasp when I turned her around and lifted her up onto the counter. I surprised us both and my face started to burn looking up into her wide eyes. She let out a shaky laugh and nodded signaling me to keep going. I ran two trembling hands up her uncovered thighs, she was had a light sun dress on with no stockings so all I could feel was her smooth thighs that were now opening wider and wrapping around my waist. I couldn't think about anything but feeling every inch of her, her dress was sliding up all the way with my hands and I looked down seeing her lavender panties, a sharp wave of heat shot through my groin seeing the wet spot that had formed already. 

 

_ “Elichi...don’t just stare”  _ I looked up at her noting the desperate plea in her eyes, if that didn’t give me affirmation of her desire for me, than I would just be plain blind.I dropped down to my knees letting my body take over, I didn't waste time teasing and just slid down her panties, leaning forward. My hands spread her open farther and she moaned loudly clutching at my hair when my tongue ran out and along the slick mess in front of me. Nozomi started to tremble harder with every stroke and I made sure to draw them out as long as I could. 

 

I knew she wasn’t going to last long with how her body was reacting to me, my hands gripped her thighs firmly and I pressed as close as I could. Her sent, her body, her voice, It was so overwhelming and I let out a sigh when I could feel her tensing up and locking my head in place. Nozomi’s moaning was drawn out and high pitched, I couldn't help but dig my nails into her legs listening to the noises I was drawing out of her.  **I want you, so bad.** Not wanting to stop there I stood up and kissed her deeply, Pressing our bodies together and snuck my hand in between us thrusting two fingers into her still spasming entrance. Nozomi gasped and let out a strangled cry arching her back into me.

 

_ “A-ah yes, m-more please I need to feel you more”   _ Nozomi gasped as I disconnected my mouth from hers and pushed  her dress top down. This revealed her bra and I left kisses all over her collar and down to her cleavage, biting and sucking on any flesh I could see. Nozomi’s wimpers were getting faster and her body was tensing up again, I could feel her legs gripping me tightly and I pumped into her harder. I looked up at her in time to catch her blown out eyes.

 

_ “Eli, I love you” _ She moaned when I slowed down and gave more powerful thrusts, I watched her face scrunch up and her bit her lip, she was throbbing on my fingers and I could feel myself throbbing along with her.

 

_ “Me too, I love you so much”  _ I whimpered feeling like I was going to explode just from looking at her. I gasped when I felt her hand sneak its way into my underwear and her fingers rubbing me. Both of our bodies were shaking and I dared to look down at the spot we were connected. Seeing my wet fingers buried deep inside of her while hers lost inside of my panties caused my brain to overload.Im body twitched and I leaned forward resting my head on her shoulder, crying out. Nozomi was close after me whimpering my name into my ear, shuddering holding me closely. We both slid our hands out and held onto each other like we would never see the other again. Panting I stepped back slightly to look at the girl in my arms, she looked sleepy but glowing. I smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek and peppering my lips up to her ear.

 

_ “Don’t ever leave me please”  _ I mumbled into her ear, I felt her giggle breathlessly and she shook her head wrapping her arms around my neck. I picked her up by the bottom causing her to yelp and squirm in my arms. I laughed and walked her to her bedroom placing her down on the bed and crawling up next to her.

 

_ “Elichi it’s too early- *yawn* to sleep”  _ Nozomi stretched into me and nuzzled into my neck while I tossed her soft blankets over us. I just held onto her tightly and said nothing, all the thoughts racing through my head. I knew I had to tell her what happened earlier but right now all I could do was bask in the afterglow of our love.  **That’s right love.**

 

I could feel a slight movement next to me but I grumbled and pulled the blanket over my head tighter. The movement became more persistent and I could hear giggling accompanying it. The giggling got louder and I could feel probing hands on my chest, jolting me awake. My body shot up and I turned quickly to the source of the laughter. In the mess of covers I could see two cat like slits pearing at me, without seeing her face I knew Nozomi was smirking at me, I didn’t have time to react before she disappeared into the covers again and I felt her body flush onto my lap. I gulped feeling her chest pressing into my exposed legs, wait exposed? 

 

_ “N-nozomi are we naked?!”  _ I tried to lift the covers up to look but she had a death grip on them, she was laughing making my lap vibrate and I could feel it all over down there.I pulled up roughly getting the blankets out of her grip and looked down at the mischievous girl who was now running her hands up my legs.

 

_ “I got hot, don’t tell me your going to be all shy now after how you took me-”  _ I let out a strangled noise and threw the covers down onto her head trying to wiggle away from her bold hands.She kept laughing and eventually pushed me down into a lying position and she slid up my body laying down as well.

 

_ “Sorry I thought you might like to give me something to eat when you wake up”  _ I felt my face grow hot at her words and huffed looking away.

 

_ “Jeez Nozomi what’s gotten into you?”  _ I laughed anyway and wrapped my arms around her looking back at her, she still wore that smug grin.

 

“ _ Well you for starters if you know what I mean”  _ She laughed and raised her eyebrows which made me groan.I laughed along with her enjoying the gentle vibrations of our laughs. As our voices died down a more somber mood entered the room. I looked up at her dark ceiling and realised it was probably really late.All of the events that happened throughout the day ran through my head and I could feel anxiety about telling Nozomi. She seemed to sense my unease and propped herself up on her arms looking down at me. I watched her silky purple hair fall down her shoulders and rest next to my face mixing with my blonde strands. I smiled and placed my hand on her cheek.

 

_ “I need to talk to you about some things.”  _ Nozomi leaned into my hand and nodded sitting up,  she sat next to me and I sat up as well, we sat in silence not knowing how to start but I gripped onto the blanket and looked at her.

 

_ “I told my mom about us…”  _ Nozomi’s eyes widened and she stared back at me, I knew this was going to be a hard discussion but I wanted, no needed to tell her.

 

_ “I told her, and well she didn’t seem like she accepted it, So I left.” _ I finished and looked down, Nozomi stayed silent but placed her hand on mine. I looked up and I could see concern flooding those beautiful eyes.

 

_ “Elichi, you can’t run away from your parents. What exactly did she say that made you think that?”  _ I tensed up and looked away. I didn’t want to think about my mother's words again.

 

_ “She told me not to come back if I left.”  _ I could feel Nozomi’s eyes on me but I just looked down feeling tears sting my eyes again. I took my hand back from her and tried wiping them but she grabbed my hands forcing me to look at her.

 

_ “You shouldn’t have left, She probably just wanted you to stay so she could to talk to you.”  _ I looked into her eyes I could see nothing but love and worry there,I still felt hurt over my mother’s words but maybe Nozomi was right, maybe I overreacted before we could properly talk things over.

 

_ “Sometimes we say and do things we don’t mean over fear of losing the ones we love, she probably is afraid of losing you Elichi. Your family cares for you deeply, It may not come across in the way you want it to, but the love is still there.”  _ Nozomi finished with a sad smile and pulled me onto her lap, I lay my head down and let her pet my hair letting the words soak in. She was right, not everything in life is going to go the way I want or think it should, doesn't mean the intentions were bad.

 

_ “I think you should go home and talk to them, your parents I mean”  _ She continued to stroke my hair and I closed my eyes. What am I going to say? Sorry for being a spoiled brat and thinking only my feelings mattered… No we needed to properly talk things out. 

 

_ “Could I stay her till tomorrow, please?”  _ I looked up giving her my best puppy eyes and she giggled and playfully shoved me.

 

_ “Of course silly, you are welcome to stay as long as you want. My spoiled little Elichi~”  _ I puffed out my cheeks and pushed my face into her stomach and mumbled. It must have tickled because she started to laugh harder trying to pry me off her. I clung harder humming more until she fell backwards trying to wiggle away from me. I straddled her waist and pinned her arms down smirking down at her.

  
_ “I’d say I spoil you more, lets see shall we?”  _ With that I leaned in for a kiss which she gladly accepted. I let our bodies take over so my mind could forget about the long conversation with my family ahead of me, all I needed right now was Nozomi and her big comfy bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit on the shorter side, I felt that was a good spot to end it though. As always enjoy, let me know what you think cuties :b


	14. Parental Anxiety

Truth be told, I took Nozomi up on her offer to stay as long as I wanted. She seemed reluctant to let me push off talking to my parents till school rolled back around. I made the excuse it would be easier to break the ice going back to get my uniform but she just shook her head and smiled at me like always.

 

_ “I shouldn't enable you , ya know. This is really important it’s not like you to push things off this long.”  _ Nozomi spoke softly nursing her tea, we sat together at her small table enjoying the quiet sunday evening. I looked down at my hands laying in my lap, knowing she was right but it didn’t make it anymore easy. What was I to say… I still hadn't thought of what we may talk about or if I should deliver an  apology or try and get one out of them. Who was really in the wrong here? The more I thought about it the more I wanted to smother myself in my beautiful girl friends chest for the millionth time this past weekend.

 

_ “Yeah, you are right its just…” _ I trailed of and looked up at her, soft green irises washed me in warmth and confidence. I smiled at her nodding and raising up from my seat. I walked over to her offering my hand which she took in hers. I kept my eyes on hers while she stood to my level and I connected our lips. Nozomi sighed and leaned into me letting me pull her in. This is why I had to stay strong, I needed to get through this so I can be with this amazing girl in my arms. 

 

Stepping back I chuckled at the dreamy expression on her face. Nozomi quickly regained her composure and puffed her cheeks out busying herself with cleaning up the table. I offered to help but was batted away.

 

_ “You know, no matter how many times we kiss it always feels like the very first time.”  _ Nozomi let out softly turning away from me to hid her reddening face, I smirked and walked into the kitchen with her giving her one last hug.

 

_ “I think that means we need to do it more, If you know what I mean.”  _ I playfully nipped at her neck laughing when she jumped and tried pushing me off.She finally got out of my grasp leaning against the counter, if possible her face was even redder and I tried hard to hold back my knowing grin.

 

“ _ Jeez, you are so lewd now! Wasn't a whole weekend of my body enough?”  _ Nozomi’s eyes darted from the counter to me and down to the floor. I knew what she was thinking and I felt my cheeks heat up as well. 

 

_ “ That’s not what I meant, now who’s the lewd one?” _ I leaned in and poked her cheek, sticking my tongue out. She laughed and also poked me back but in my side. I jumped back before she could start tickling me and ran for the door.

 

_ “ Thanks again Nozomi, I love you so much. I’ll text you when I can...wish me luck”   _ I heard her call back to me as I was closing the door. Heart pounding I made my way out of the complex and to my house. It felt robotic the way my legs carried me. I tried to take my time but I also knew the longer I took the longer I had to wait to resolve the issue. I hadn't looked at my phone since I arrived at Nozomi’s house. I stopped and pulled it out of my pocket, I had dozens of missed calls from each one of my family members. The texting app was over flowed with messages from Arisa and I felt my heart drop getting a glimpse of her worried messages. The message that stuck out to me the most was my fathers, It was just one message but it made my body freeze. 

 

**_“ My dear Eli, I wish you would have spoke up sooner. I never want to see you, your mother or sister struggle in anyway. My happiness is seeing you three smile. Your mother has told me of the disagreement you had. I understand how you may feel right now but know words sometimes slip out without meaning. I know you will find your way back to us when you are ready. Just know we all love you dearly and hope to see you soon. Stay safe and have a good time with Nozomi.”_ **

 

I dropped my arm down as I felt the hot tears stinging my eyes, of course he would say that. It all made sense now. My admiration and love for seeing Nozomi smile and happy, that was the part of my father he passed to me. The stubborn hot tempered part of me was definitely from my mother. All the little spats and disagreements my mother an I shared, it was just a personality clash is all. Of course they loved me, I had let my temper and fear take over for me again. Laughing I looked down at my father's message once more. Before bracing myself for what was to come.

  
  


The air was calm and quite at my home when I entered, It seemed like everyone was out or doing a silent activity. Even with the new confidence I could still feel my heart beating hard as I came to our family room. I looked in to see my father reading a book, he seemed to sense me staring and he looked up with a smile. I smiled back and mouthing a thank you, nodding he pointed to the direction of the kitchen and I knew who was waiting for me there.I walked slowly to the kitchen doorway, my mother was standing at the counter looking over a recipe book there was various food items and ingredients around her and I laughed lightly. Always trying something new, the laugh seemed to snap her out of her concentration and she turned to me with an unreadable expression. I stood there holding onto the frame of the doorway, I didn't know what to do or say, I knew I shouldn’t feel so uncomfortable but I was still so uncertain of our standing after the fight. I watched her close the book and untie her apron. Motioning me over to the table I nodded and went over to sit with her. I watched her closely trying to pick up any resentment or hate but she stayed indifferent. I opened my mouth to speak but she shook her head and placed her hand on my shoulder. 

 

_ “I want to apologize to you Eli, I said some things that I thought I felt at the time without thinking. I sometimes see these flaws in you that I once could see in myself. It frustrates me to no end knowing I could never fix them and then seeing the same thing happen to you. I had a long chat with your father and then your sister. The more we talked about everything and you...well I understand your love for Nozomi.”  _ She looked down at the table and placed her hands in her lap, I felt happy hearing those words but it felt like there was more. I waited and she laughed and looked up at me.

 

_ “I was the same to you know, I never was easy at making friends. I always gave off a air of overconfidence and It pushed people away. I mostly used it as a mask to not have nervous breakdowns in front of anyone. That was until I met your father, he never let me be that way around him. I don't know how but he seemed to know it was an act and ended up bringing out parts of myself I never knew were there. I think your father and I knew from the beginning you were going to find that special someone to open you up, when you started to talk about Nozomi I knew that she was that person.”  _ Smiling  my mother got up and walked over to me pulling me into a hug, I felt warmth and comfort wash over me. I never had a solid connection with this woman, I always knew deep down I wanted to impress her and earn her approval but this felt better than any amount of phrase she had given me.Disconnecting from me she wiped a tear from her eye and laughed. 

 

_ “Anyway, I just want you to know, I am sincerely sorry for what happened before and that all of us want you to do what makes you happy. I was thinking about the judgment of others over your happiness and it was wrong.I want you to invite Nozomi over for dinner tonight if possible, to make sure she isn't feeling any ill feelings from us, also.”  _ She paused and looked over at all the ingredients laid out.

 

_ “I have a phone call to make.Will you make the dish on page 42, I’ll send Alisa down to help.” _ She winked and walked past me to the other room, I felt joy like nothing else as I sprung up to go get my sister.By the time dinner had been made Nozomi was already on her way over. She seemed hesitant but came around when I told her I had made it. In her exact words,  **_“ I’ll eat anything of Elichis~”_ ** Making it hard to not blush the moment she stepped into the house. 

 

_ “Don’t worry Nozomi, everything is smoothed over, just me overreacting...again.”  _ I scratched my neck sheepishly she she giggled and shoved me lightly. I laughed as well and beckoned her to follow me into the dining room.When we arrived everyone was settled into their spots and chatting lightly waiting for us. Nozomi shot me one last nerves glance before sitting down but I merely smiled trying to calm her nerves.I noticed the little twinkle in her eyes and it warmed my whole body. Greetings and small talk aside it was mostly quiet and calm as everyone enjoyed the meal Alisa and I made. I took peeks at Nozomi the whole time to make sure she was still comfortable and to my relief, she seemed to be enjoying herself. My mother had brought up a few subjects to keep the conversation flowing after we had all finished and sat letting our food settle.

 

_ “Nozomi dear, do you have any plans for after school?”  _ My head whipped up hearing my mother address Nozomi. My eyes darted between the two and I nearly jumped when I felt my father's hand rest reassuringly on my shoulder. I looked over at him, he said nothing and nodded his head at my mother.

 

_ “Ah, I really am not sure right now. I really like Astrology and Mythology, I may look into something like that.” _ I could see Nozomi fidgeting nervously with her fork. My mother showed no signs of judgment from her answer, in fact she seemed to have a slight grin on her lips. 

 

_ “That is interesting, I’m sure you will excel in whatever you decide to go with. I personally think you would make a fine wife someday as well. Eli would probably agree.”  _ My mother took a sip of her tea and watched my mouth fall open. I could hear my father chuckle beside me as he got up and gathered up the plates. If it wasn't for my desperation to look at anything other than my mother I would have missed the dark red hue of Nozomi’s face. This pulled me out of my own embarrassment and I felt myself smiling. 

 

_ “Anyway, I must thank you for joining us for dinner. Just know you are still welcome here anytime Nozomi. We consider you family and I hope you feel the same.”  _  I smiled even wider at my mothers accepting words, I still felt a slight bit of anxiousness. What about Touma…

 

_ “Mom...uhm, what about-?”  _  I stopped seeing the look of sadness come over Nozomi’s face, she must have been thinking the same thing and my face fell as well. My mother had already stood and was picking things up she continued to clean up as my father got up too help. She stopped next to me and set the plates down next to my empty one. I felt her gaze on me and looked up, I felt my heart swell when she smiled and shook her head. That must have been who she called earlier. 

 

_ “Your father has a few words he would like to say to you two while I get this all cleaned up go have a seat in the living room if you would.”   _ She said while exiting the room with my sister hot on her heels. I looked over at Nozomi who was quickly standing.My father I just noticed was already gone and I reached out to squeeze Nozomi’s hand. 

 

_ “See told you nothing to worry about” _ I laughed at the the flustered look she was giving me, I could feel how sweaty her hand was and pulled it up to kiss. 

 

_ “Jeez, when she..when she said the wife thing I thought I was going to die. That must be who you get your slyness from.” _ She giggled watching my lips press to her palm.Our eyes connected and I had to fight the urge to take her lips right then. 

 

_ “Hm, I think I get a bit of that from both of them actually. I can’t wait to meet your parents to see where you get your weirdness from.” _ That earned me a sharp jab to the side and I recoiled, heading for the door trying to dodge the fast pokes flying at me.We made our way to the living room trying to calm down the playing around, judging by the look on my father’s face he knew we were messing with each other. He smiled and shook his head, we made our way to the couch and sat across from him.

 

_ “The happiness I see in your eyes reminds me of when your mother and I were young, so thank you two for refreshing me like this. It’s a beautiful thing to watch and it even helped me see I was losing sight of my own feelings for a few years now. Life can sometimes get in the way of the ones we hold dear.”  _ He looked over to the window, it was now turning dark and the dim light of the room gave off a calming feeling.

 

_ “ When starting my business I had only your Mother and you in mind, Alisa had not yet come along and things were very calm and not many worries had crossed my mind. It has always been hard work running a business, then Alisa came along and I felt more pressure to perform and provide for you three, I want nothing more than for you all to have a good life.The more money started to roll in the more consumed I got in ways of making the business stronger and I..” _ He stopped and looked up at me sadness washing over his usually warm features.I tilted my head wondering what he meant, sure its normal for a head of the household to feel the pressure to provide but I didn't see where this was going just yet.

 

_ “Well, that’s when I meet the Toama boy’s father. He seemed very interested in merging our businesses and suggested the marriage, at the time it seemed like a good idea until your mother told me about your disagreement. Marriage isn't something that should be used for anything other than joining two people who truly do not wish to ever part as soul mates. You two reminded me of this so I would like to thank you.”  _ He looked close to tears and I felt the same, I heard sniffling next to me and could see that Nozomi was tearing up and I pulled her close to me. 

 

_ “That's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about though, there was a reason why your mother wanted to know Nozomi’s plans for the future.You see now that we canceled the wedding we are wondering the future of the business and well I don’t see Alisa being interested in anything like that. You two seem very capable in running things together and well your mother an I both agree the two of you would make a great fit to take it over when we are ready to hand it over. “  _

 

The room was silent. It took us all a few moments to let my father's words sink in. Nozomi was shifting next to me and she got up and walked over to my father. I watched in astonishment as she bowed quickly and shook his hand furiously. I pulled myself from my shock and started to laugh, drawing attention to myself. I got up also and walked over to my dad as Nozomi was dropping his hand. 

 

_ “You don't know how much this means to me, not having to choose between my happiness and making you proud, we won’t let you down right Nozomi?”  _ Nozomi was blushing from head to neck but she smiled and nodded grabbing my hand. 

 

_ “Well that's good to hear, we will be counting on you. I always knew you could achieve anything you wanted Eli.”  _ He got up placing a hand on both our shoulders and nodding going to exit the room. Nozomi and I were left alone to ponder his words. I felt her visibly relax as she leaned into me exhaling a shaky breath.

 

_ “That was...unexpected.” _ She said quietly, I could tell she was overwhelmed and I ushered her back over to the couch but she shook her head. Grabbing her purse she turned back to me, she seemed a bit more calm but iI was still worried.

 

_ “We got school tomorrow and I have some work to do before bed so I will take my leave here, I’ll text you later though cutie”  _ Nozomi winked and turned to leave, I stopped her by grabbing her wrist lightly, she turned back around confused and I pulled her in for a hard kiss. She wasn't expecting that and gasped her eyes going wide. I didn’t stop but actually wrapped my arms around her waist pushing us closer. She pulled back and bit her lip looking at the door to the living room. 

 

_ “Your family is in the other room! What are you doing!?”  _ She said in a hushed whisper, I ignored her and pushed my hands under her shirt and ran them over her soft sides. I couldn't help it, the good news from my parents and just the weight of all the stress lifting off of me gave me a sense of confidence I didn’t know I had. I just want to smother her in affection and love.Nozomi sighed and hugged me back burying her face in my neck.

 

_ “You are so irrational sometimes, but I don’t think I would ever want anything more than I want you”  _ I smiled and squeezed her as hard as I could without making it hurt and felt another set of tears sting my eyes.

 

_ “ And you are so hard to understand, but I also don't see myself ever wanting anything else. Stay with me always, and wash away the winter, my beautiful spring day.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lord I am so sorry for how long I took to update. Life has been a mess and well I couldn't find it in me to have time for this but I some how managed. I hope this is okay and thank you for sticking with me and my inconsistent self I love you all.

**Author's Note:**

> This Is In Eli’s POV as you probably already gathered, she does have depression and anxiety I am hoping I got that across okay, I don’t know how often I'll update this. I will try and do a chapter a week but we all know how that goes, I’ll update tags as I go not sure where I’m going with this FULLY but i have a good idea. Hope you enjoy let me know what you think and any errors or concerns you have <3


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